The Wisdom Of Solomon And Failure As The Backdoor To Success

It has been said that failure is the backdoor to success. It has also been said that to be wise is to have the wisdom of Solomon. What's wrong with this picture...what's right with it?

It really is two different things we are talking about here.

You do not have success in your life, your marriage or your money and finances unless and until you have success in yourself. It has been proclaimed (at that time) that Solomon was the wisest of men. Solomon had everything that his heart and mind could ever desire, yet it is also known that he was the saddest or unhappiest of men as well.

This is not a Bible lesson on the story and life of Solomon...you can read about that and find out more about him and his prophecies in the good book for yourself.

What is interesting here is that as I go through life and have discovered on many an occasion that wisdom has it's drawbacks. No no no...I am not saying that being married or being in a marriage is not a wise choice.

I am looking at the state my own smartness (or lack thereof) and looking back on the days of Solomon and wondering...if I had been given or somehow managed to acquire all the things that supposedly made me happy...would I have been happy? Would you be happy had you had Solomon's riches and wisdom?

A word of wisdom here...no man can be that of another or offer to possess the strength and abilities of the mind for another person. As for me and my house, we have discovered the quantum leap of faith that it takes in a marriage especially when it comes to money and finances. All kinds of good blessings can be bestowed or conferred upon a person, but that does not make them any wiser. In fact, there are those that have their world at their feet and they are non the wiser!

Pearls of wisdom about marriage and money do not often come through the front door of your life, so it is easy to say that failure is the backdoor to success because more often than not we spend most of our time trying to make things work in our lives. We are forever hanging around the backdoor and missing out on not only those blessing in and around the front door of our live because we like sitting on the stoop out back and brooding about life.

One thing you can say about Solomon is that he had a healthy appetite for life. Kinda ruined it in the marriage department but definitely made up for it in the success and finance departments. But as you read about him and learn more, for all his wisdom, there was always something missing.

Being successful in life means more than things, acquisitions, numbers...true. And yet without goals to strive for in life you assuredly have no worthwhile purpose. It is the order, the priorities in your life you marriage your finances that set you apart and being the wiser (Bud) as to whether you open the front door to the rest of your life or you simply keep lurking in the shadows of failure being your backdoor to success.

A Friend in Business...and Life...Always, -Lon-

Lon Roland invites you to stop in for a visit to our blog where we take a look at the humorous as well as serious sides of learning about love, life and marriage. Join us at: http://www.Unhappymarriagetips.com/

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Getting Past Pettiness

In an institution demanding maturity for its success, marriage and romantic partnership is not just an institution but a process for revealing our immaturities and inadequacies. And we're all revealed; marriage, just like parenting, undoes even the most together of people.

And if there's one area where the undoing takes place it's in the pettiness we either insist upon or put up with.

PETTINESS BEGETS PETTINESS

Much like any common relational sin, when one begins being petty, drawing in unimportant issues or those irrelevant to the discussion, dissuading the focus of the gathering conflict, it's a hidden invitation for the other are join in. It's like, 'If you're allowed to bring in such superfluous things, so am I!' And so begins the one-upmanship.

What happens here, of course, is that one slinks back into the child state and unconsciously invites the other to join them, fighting as if they were eight-year-olds scrapping on the floor. It resembles a tennis match, as each has their turn at sending a winner past their opponent (their partner).

Yet, this is one game where there are no winners. Even if one wins the stoush, the relationship loses.

The only way such conflict stops is when one partner refuses to partake in issues of irrelevant or unimportant pettiness. They refuse to become intimidated. And in that, they're the ones that redeem the adult power; though it seems they're giving in, so long as they refuse to become upset, they've won, because the relationship has been relieved of falling into the ridiculous.

INSISTING UPON OR PUTTING UP WITH

The aggressor and the submitter do themselves and their marriages few favours by behaving the way they do. When people insist on their pettiness they constrict any room the relationship would have of harmony, because of their selfishness. When people put up with others' pettiness they, too, do their relationships no favours; they're allowing the setting of, or maintaining of, dangerous precedents.

The midway between the aggressor and the submitter is the asserter. They quietly refuse to partake in the irrelevant, sticking on-point themselves, whilst calling the other to gentle account - to justify actual things said; to ensure the taking of adult responsibility. And that's all that's required; patiently staying on track and being respectful, and climbing above the temptation to lose patience.

It only takes one patient, resilient asserter in a marriage, one that wisely steers conflict from the rocks into safe waters, by staying calmly and respectfully on point, and noting before things get out of control to weigh anchor, to deal with an irrational partner. (And we all present as irrational from time to time.)

***

Pettiness takes the best of marriages and relationships and reduces them to a schoolyard level in a flash. Staying on point, and keeping to what's relevant, is a discipline of the patient asserter, one who resists the temptation to fight dirty and maintains respect.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com/

Original article

Read This If You Need to Get Through to Your Wife When She's Leaving

If you are like most men, then when your wife told you that she wanted to leave, it left you with one feeling above all:

Fear.

And yeah, sure, maybe a little bit of anger to... But I'm willing to bet that if you really stop for a second - take a deep breath - to examine yourself (at your own risk!) that you would find that the root of all that anger you're feeling right now is actually...Fear.

Maybe it's fear of the unknown.

Maybe you're afraid of facing yourself.

Maybe you're scared of loss or rejection, or maybe even being alone for the rest of your life.

The fact is that it doesn't really matter what you're afraid of right now, as long as you recognize that fear is at least playing a small part in the way that you're thinking right now.

But guess what?

Fear Isn't Going to Stop You From Getting Your Wife Back It's not going to keep you from knowing how to talk to your wife to get her back, and it's not going to keep you from a happy marriage, much less a happy life.

So, take a deep breath, try to be objective about the situation you're in right now so that you can learn what to do and not let your emotions/fear incorrectly guide you. As you continue reading this article I'm going to talk to you about what to say to your wife when she says that she's leaving.

3 Tips for Talking to Your Wife When She Wants Separation

#1. You Have 2 Ears and Only 1 Mouth Many people hear me say this and mistakenly think that the only thing I'm trying to say is that listening is twice as important as speaking. While I do believe it is true, it also has a slightly deeper meaning.

The alternative meaning to this statement is that in every conversation there are two things you need to hear, and only one thing you need to say. You need to hear what your wife is saying and you need to hear it well enough that you understand it fully. Then, you need to respond politely and accordingly (this is the speaking). But then it goes further, because we all are guilty of miscommunication sometimes. So, it's also important that you hear what YOU are saying so that your communication is effective and you can really talk to your wife.

So yes, listening is twice as important as speaking, and you use your ears and understanding twice as much as you use your voice and your communication. Does that make sense?

#2. Stay Strong in Front of Your Wife This is something that very few men get right, because it is actually surprisingly difficult to do. This isn't saying that you can't have emotion in front of your wife, or that you can't express yourself emotionally in front of your wife, or even that you can't cry in front of your wife.

What it is saying is this:

You should never, ever, EVER beg your wife to stay with you.

While you shouldn't be emotionally cold, you should maintain your dignity. This is very important, and it is part of being a man/husband/leader.

#3. Always Keep Your Focus on the Real Goal Many men come to me and ask, "How do I get my wife back," or "How do I save my marriage," or even "How do I get my woman to love me again?"

These are all the wrong questions, because they're focusing on the wrong goals. Your goal right now is very, very simple:

You need your spouse to WANT to be with you again.

Think about that statement for a second... Really let it sink in. I'll say it one more time:

You NEED your wife to WANT you AGAIN.

There are three very important words in this statement...Need, want, again.

You NEED this because there is no other way to truly save your marriage, and conversely when your marriage is truly back on track your wife will want you.

You need your wife to WANT you because if your wife doesn't want you then she will not stay with you, plain and simple. No amount of marriage counseling, marriage help books, or 'figuring stuff out' is going to have any impact on whether she stays or goes.

Your wife will want you AGAIN because there has been a time in the past when your wife wanted you in this way, and you need to find out how to reawaken it.

Do you see?

This IS the way to rekindle passion in your marriage, and this is how you can end your wife's desire for separation:

Make Her Desire Something Else More...You!

Now, I know that you have a few questions left on exactly how to get your wife to WANT you. Don't worry, this is normal! Unfortunately, this article wasn't written as an encyclopedia on how to get your wife back, it's just 1 single article. So here's what I want to do for you...

Find Out Why She's Leaving - 9 Essential Traits of Good Husbands

Alternatively, if you would like more information on communication with your wife while your marriage is on the rocks, then I think I know what will help you. Check out this article I wrote about how to convince your wife not to leave.

Either way you decide to go from here, I would like to sincerely thank you for reading this article and I hope that everything works out.

With Much Manly Love,
- Jacob Elichmann

Original article