As a practicing licensed psychologist, I spent hundreds of hours with couples in marriage counseling. There are several major issues in a relationship that become problematic and are creating discontent for one or both the spouses. What are they?
(1) Social Life/Free Time (the amount and quality of time spent at home together, out of the home; type of leisure activities; number of common interests, time spent with friends.)
(2) Roles/Division of Duties (who makes the most sacrifices for the other; division of household duties; division of childcare duties)
(3) Communication (your partner's ability to express his/her wishes; your partner's tone of voice; the extent you feel understood; ease in admitting that you're wrong; ability to compromise)
(4) Child Rearing (agreement on the number of children; who has the most child-discipline duties; agreement on values to teach the children; when and how to punish or praise the children)
(5) Sex (how often you have sex and who initiates sexual contact; variety of sexual techniques; amount of pleasure from sex; you and your partner's attitude toward sex; type of birth control used)
(6) Life Values (how compatible your religious and political views are; the respect shown for individuality of family members; activities that include all members of the family unit)
(7) Finances (how the couple shares responsibility in earning and how they share the earned money; the amount of earned money; the amount of money saved; how the money is spent; the value the partners place on money)
The simple and obvious answer to the article title is "yes." What I observed, when there is financial issues, it filters down and disturbs other important aspects of marriage. Arguments over money prevail, children often become the target of misdirected anger, sleep disruption, loss of appetite or over-eating occurs, increase use of alcohol, spousal abuse, and loss of libido(sexual desire), all may go with financial worries.
What to do? While counseling is indicated, monies may not be available. If not, speak to someone outside the family unit, who may be able to help. If clinical depression is found in one or both of the spouses, consider going to the community mental health services, where fees are not an issue.
Reach out to community services, churches, federal, state or local programs; usually the family can find help.
Dr. Morella is a retired academician and licensed psychologist. He provided psychological services to the public, working with children, teens and adults. Upon his retirement he conducted state-wide workshops for mental health agencies on a variety of topics, and worked as an adjunct professor. In addition, he has published two books, "A Guide for Effective Psychotherapy," 2006, Helm Publishing, (a consumer's guide for understanding the complexities of mental health counseling) and "Give Teens a Break!", 2010, Millennial Mind Publishing, an Imprint of American Book Publishing (a positive look at teens and parenting guide). You may view his credentials and order his books on his website: http://www.johnmorella.com/
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