As a relationship coach one of the questions that I work on most of the customers is love and marriage. Many people feel that they are in a bad relationship, and miss what life has to offer because they Iraqi feel the same passion and enthusiasm about their partner as they did years ago when they met first.
They wonder if they should leave the relationship and move forward and come to me for the response.
The client must know that no one knows what is good for them as well as they do themselves. They must seek their souls and to work on it is that they are looking for. I get to know my client by asking many questions and through this, get the search started. I have then to help the client find its own answers.
Provided that the client is not harmed in any way in close al case that I find is the hat of the client is concerned because they do not have the same physical reaction to their partners as they have done any first and Iraq see him as perfect. It is quite normal.
This does not mean that you Iraqi love your partner. It simply means that your chemical reactions are returned to normal, and it is now for you to choose if you want to choose to love your partner as love is a choice.
What is love for you?
It is important to spend time talking with the client on what love is for them and in 99% of cases after digging deep client will say that love is a magic feeling that comes after have found their soulmate. They hope that the sense of metamorphis because they satisfy a particular person and remain for as long as they are with this person. They feel disadvantaged when this is not the case.
The problem is that we are all so indoctrinated by films and of fairy tales and posters on what love is that we are not to get what we expect, as the fact is that perfection, we expect to there is no fixed.
What Causes the feeling of love?
After talk that loving feeling focus on the fact that the first ' in love' feelings we have for our partner based on chemical products associated with lust and attraction. Lust is the first step of love, and it is based on hormones sexual testosterone and estrogen. Attraction is the second stage of love and is based on three neurotransmitters; Adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
When you first fall in love with this stress and increases the adrenaline and cortisol in your blood levels. This causes physical symptoms such as the sweaty palms, shortness of breath, a racing heart, fun giggling and a dry mouth.
The feelings caused by these chemicals are very powerful and many people become addicted to them that they feel so great. When chemicals reduce, as they always do, they feel duped and find feelings again. This means that the person is constantly looking for the feelings associated with the early stages to be love and experiences never really contentment that comes with the third stage of love that as an attachment.
The third stage of love - attachment
After we get through the early stages of the love of lust and attraction we come finally to the third stage is the attachment. In this step that we are supposed to build our life with another person and raise a family. The scene is supposed to remain strong for many decades and develops through the links created by the tribulations, tests and shared experiences.
It is here that love often breaks down.
People realize that their partner is far from perfect and if they chose their partner based on the initial chemical feelings, that two people will have little in common.
You now have three choices. Choose love
When we realize that life with our partner will not be perfect, that we have three choices we can do:
1 Leave the relationship and the search for something that is perfect (or better);
2 Stay and be unfortunate because we think that there is something better and we are missing or
3 Recognize that relationships are hard work and choose to love our partner.
My clients often may not be aware that love is a choice. Is not sentiment in itself. The Dictionary says that the word "love" is a verb. It is a Word. This is something that we must take steps to obtain.
If we choose to love of our partners, we should start with ourselves forcing them to focus on the good not bad in themselves. Immediately this will change our perception of our partner as it will be positive negative step.
Then, we have to decide to take measures to make our partner happy and on a daily basis, we must undertake small acts of kindness as making our partner a cup of tea, to purchase their favourite cake at the supermarket, giving a compliment - while making them feel special. Your actions will cause your partner to feel loved and this will cause warm feelings for you, which in turn causes your partner want to make you feel loved. Your thoughts and actions will be reciprocal.
Once you choose to love your partner that you can. You simply take loving action. This is the reason why so many arranged marriages work well. The parties decide to marry and to a successful life and they do.
The only obstacle to love someone is your own decision as to if you want the love of the person and the mistaken belief that you find your soul mate. Homosexuals are created by understanding and share experiences on periods of time. You do not find them.
Similarly, it is simply not possible to love your husband more the day of your wedding that you twenty years later, as twenty years of working together to build a life will create deep links and mutual assistance that simply could not be present early in a relationship. There are different types of love and that we are all looking if we know it or not is the deep relationship that grows over time.
Choose to love.
Tonette Watson is a NLP practitioner certified with extensive experience in the business strategies and the success of life.
She is the founder of http://www.sowforsuccess.com/ success.
It offers online, telephone and mentoring and coaching of the sessions that will change your state of mind and the empowerment of your group life.
She is an expert to help you determine what you want to start a relationship and how to achieve by taking action on the right. In particular, it teaches that love is a choice not a sense and that homosexuals are created over time not found.
It helps you to understand that modern media create false hopes on that love is the result being that you pass one relationship to another looking for something that does not exist. This leads to feelings of helplessness and dissatisfaction. Really, however, al Amur is and it is a question of deciding to love someone and take loving action.
Tonette Watson
Sow of success
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