Is there an age limit that you should set out for 'settling down' and having a family, or should you just live your life as you go along and figure out when the time is right by letting it come. I personally believe in the latter.
I have many friends who got married and had kids young only to realize that 'settling down' is not what they really wanted years later. Their taste is men or women changed and their beliefs and needs changed as well - unfortunately their partner stayed the same as when they first got married and they just eventually grew apart.
I also have friends who got married young and are happily married still. They've enjoyed their marriage right from beginning to where they are now and they have never looked back or regretted a moment.
So what's difference? What is the factor that decides when you are ready to get married?
Wanting Versus Feeling Required
I think a lot of problems start once you feel like you have to get married but don't want to get married.
One thing I've noticed is that many people get married and have kids because it is expected of them. Whether it's a religious expectation or their family putting pressure on them, they succumbed to the fact that they are 'supposed' to get married and have kids, even if they don't totally feel like doing it yet.
I personally never had this problem. Just because someone excepted something out of me didn't decide whether I was doing it or not. For instance, all my friends were getting married and my dad was talking about the day that he was going to have grandchildren, and all I could think about was how I didn't want to get married and have kids but how I did want to please my parents and friends.
The pressure never overtook the desire not to get married and have kids, and today I am thankful that I didn't give into it because I'm still not concerned about getting married, and I still don't want kids. I'm not saying I'm not in a loving and committed relationship, but I don't have the need to please everyone by getting rings on our fingers and walking down the aisle.
If the feeling of wanting to get married or have kids ever came to me then that would be a different story! But it hasn't, and I don't think I would be truly happy if I were being untrue to myself.
I'm not saying that some people don't get married out of pressure and end up being happily married in the end. That can happen as well. But I do think you have a better chance of being happily married if you want to be married in the first place!
Is there a specific age in when that's going to happen? No. Justin Bieber can't predict when he's going to be ready to be married. It could be 2 years from now or 20 years from now. He's setting a goal based on what he's seen and believes about life, but he doesn't know the exact moment that he will feel the desire to get married and settle down, or if that moment will even come. Nobody does. But that moment should be the deciding factor, not pressure.
Bellaisa is the owner of the Relationship Circle, a website with relationship advice for men and women on dating, intimacy, and relationship problems.
You can keep up to date with her website and relationship blog by signing up to the newsletter on the website, which also get's you a free eBook that you may find handy!
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