Save Your Marriage By Helping Your Spouse Open Up

One of the important factors needed to sustain a marriage is open communication between the partners. Sometimes, one partner may have something to share but may find it difficult to open up. On such occasions, the other partner can save the marriage by helping the reluctant partner to open up.

Have you sometimes felt that your spouse has something to share with you but has some problem in opening up? If you have, did you ask them what was in their mind? It would have been very easy to have made your spouse pour out their mind by using a simple trigger like 'You want to say something?' But if you have not done so, you have lost a great opportunity to put your marriage back on rails.

If this has happened in your life, you need to ponder over what was holding you back. It might not have been your ego but a reluctance on your part, for no particular reason. There are times in our life when we know what is to be done but for some reason, don't bring ourselves to do it.

By failing to do the thing required of us at the appropriate time, we may end up losing certain things in life. The wise thing to do will be to learn from our past mistakes and do the right things during future occasions. All we need to do is to program our minds to act appropriately if a similar situation were to arise in future. Fortunately, life is kind enough to give us more opportunities similar to the ones we missed in the past. But if you keep missing opportunities repeatedly, you may sometimes reach a stage when there will be no further opportunities.

Think what prevented you from prompting your spouse when you knew that they were about to open up and share their feelings with you. Perhaps you were afraid what they might say would make you feel guilty. Perhaps you were not prepared to come out with a response to the issues they might rise. Ultimately, it was a kind of a fear - a fear that you would be shaken out of your comfort and brought out in the open.

Ask yourself whether or not you are interested in saving your marriage. If you are, then you should be willing to do something from your side even if you feel that the fault lies with the other side. If you can help your spouse open up by prompting them or encouraging them, you will be giving a powerful impetus to the task of saving your marriage.

Two things are important in life. Self development and maintaining good relationships. If you want to be happy and successful, you should focus on these two areas of personal success and harmonious relationships.

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Why Does My Wife Not Love Me Anymore? Understanding Your Spouse

The men who visit my blog on dealing with marital issues often want to know what they can do when they feel their wives don't love them anymore. It's incredibly challenging to be in a marriage in which you feel the other person doesn't care about you. You feel devalued, depressed and you begin to question whether divorcing may be the best solution. The largest obstacle in a situation like this is the fact that you may still love your wife deeply even though it's become very obvious that her feelings have changed dramatically. Although separation and eventual divorce is certainly an option, it should never be viewed as the only one. There are definitely steps a man in your position can take to change the future of the marriage. Giving up doesn't have to be your next move, not if you're committed to your wife.

I want to help you understand a distinction that needs to be made when you feel that your wife doesn't love you anymore. There's a very large difference between a woman feeling neglected, ignored and undervalued and a woman who isn't in love anymore. Your wife may feel emotionally disconnected from you at this moment but that doesn't necessarily mean that she's fallen out of love. If she hasn't told you directly that she no longer loves you, don't jump to that conclusion. If you're basing this determination on the fact that she seems withdrawn, sullen or preoccupied with everything but you, there are other reasons for that. It may just be that your marriage has fallen into a gully of mutual emotional neglect and you now have to be the one to rescue it.

Take it as a very positive sign if your wife has yet to say that she wants to separate or divorce. When a woman truly does feel as though she's fallen out of love with her husband, she'll, at the very least, entertain the idea of ending the marriage. This is the case regardless of whether there are small children involved. It's typically very hard for any woman to stay in a relationship in which she doesn't feel a committed connection to her husband.

As for what you can do to change this, there are many effective routes you need to be taking. My first suggestion is to gently speak to your wife about where the marriage is now and where you both envision it being in a few months and even, in a few years. If she's reluctant to discuss this right now, don't push. If you are relentless with trying to get her to talk with you about what she's feeling, you'll risk her shutting down completely which will result in an even more strained day-to-day life around your home.

If your wife does indeed feel neglected by you, you'll see some strong clues in the things she does and says. Many women take the passive aggressive approach and talk frequently about a "friend" who has the ideal husband. If this is something your wife falls back to doing, assume that the "friend" in question doesn't have the perfect marriage and that your wife is only trying to give you some ideas of what you could be doing a better job of.

Take better care of your wife emotionally. Make time each day to really connect with her on a one-on-on basis. She needs to see that you're still willing to devote yourself to her and that she's not at the bottom of your life's priority list. Bring her flowers. Even though that seems cliché it's a wonderfully loving gesture. Take her out for dinner just because you love her. Don't wait for special occasions to pamper her. Make it a daily ritual and soon she'll start to feel that you truly do adore her. When she understands that, her attitude and feelings toward you will change for the positive. It's really just a matter of giving your marriage the care it deserves.

Although things may feel bleak at the moment, there is hope to save your marriage and change your wife's feelings. You love her so commit to improving the marriage and helping her find her fulfillment in your relationship again.

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How to Handle a Spouse Who Is Very Controlling

You most probably woke up suddenly to the harsh reality that your spouse is very controlling. In the dating phase and even in the early years of your marriage you were probably not keenly aware of how controlling your spouse really is as you thought that they were simply very self assured and confident. This is the reality of the saying 'love is blind' as your view of their bad traits or faults is minimized or distorted to be a good thing by the tinted glasses of new love that you wore. And like one waking up to a bad dream you have come to the scary realization that your spouse is very cont trolling but you really love them and do not want to leave them but how do you stay with them without losing yourself or resenting them?

Is he really controlling or are you super sensitive? Take time alone and analyze whether your partner is really very controlling or if your perspective of him is jaded? Who are you comparing him to when you say that he is controlling? Define what you mean when you say that your partner is controlling. Is it that he has strong opinions or that he wants you ALWAYS to do what he wants? A controlling partner is one who treats you like a child that must be herded and guided in the right direction. This will be a partner who dismisses your opinion and believes that the only way to do things is his way and so he constantly tears down your opinions in a bid to get you to do ONLY what he wants. Is this is your situation? If it is then he really is controlling and you must now buckle down so that you can survive him.

Take a step back and look at your situation critically. You are very close to the situation and you need to take a step back and analyze what is really going on between you and your partner. To handle a spouse who is very controlling you need to understand your spouse's motives or fears. How does his controlling behavior manifest? In which situations does it occur and how does it progress? Has he always been controlling or is it a recent phenomenon? Most controlling behavior is driven by fear and you need to step back so that you can understand the fear that drives your partner. If you can get an understanding of what is really going on then you will be better equipped to handle the situation. If you understand what his fears are then you will be able to find ways to minimize those fears so that they don't always come to the forefront and make him retreat into controlling behavior.

Can you stand up for yourself consistently? Can you hold your own with him in the issues that are important to you? He may be controlling but you do not have to agree to be controlled. One way to handle a controlling spouse is by being strong in your convictions and refusing to budge on the issues that are critical to you. Just because he is controlling does not mean that you have to give in to him but you need to deal with him with wisdom so that you do not aggravate the situation needlessly.

Choose your battles. To handle a controlling spouse you must choose your battles. Decide which issues are critical to you and which issues you don't care too much about. Peacefully and happily let him control those things that are really not critical to you as it's really not worth your emotional strength and happiness to fight the non-issues. And if he knows that he controls some things then he may more readily not fight you on your big issues.

Handling a spouse who is very controlling requires wisdom and strength of character so that you do not lose yourself in your partner or become bitter.

But if you think that your marriage maybe bad then gauge it against these signs of bad marriage to decide but if your spouse is so controlling that you just want out of the marriage then get your breakup blue print to help you overcome your fears and navigate the breakup with as little pain as possible.

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