My Wife Doesn't Love Me Anymore! Why There's Still Hope for Your Marriage

Whenever I receive an email through my blog that starts with, "my wife doesn't love me anymore," my heart sinks just a bit. It's so hard to hear how many men are struggling with this in their marriages. Like you, they love their wife, and are devastated when they either hear her say she's not in love anymore or they infer that based on her actions of late. The road ahead always seems cloudy and filled with confusion if you're unsure how your wife feels and what that means for the future of your marriage. Instead of viewing this revelation as the beginning of the end, it's wise to see it as the beginning of positive change. Most couples have many hurdles to clear as they work their way through married life, that's exactly what you need to view this as.

Falling out of love is something that happens to people whether they've been married a year, two years or twenty-five years. We all change as we mature and if you and your wife aren't in sync with the changes you both make, one or both of you may begin to feel an emotional disconnection. Over time, if a couple doesn't address these changing feelings several things can happen. One is that one partner will venture outside of the marriage and begin an intimate affair with someone else. Another outcome when a couple fails to stay close is resentment may begin to build and verbal abuse becomes par for the course. Sadly, some couples just quietly let their marriage die until they either divorce or live their lives under the same roof but very disconnected from each other.

The fact that you're aware that your wife doesn't love you anymore is actually a positive thing. I know that sounds confusing, but if you sense that she's fallen out of love or she's told you, you know that you have issues that have to be dealt with. You're facing them instead of burying them beneath a happy demeanor with the hope that things will magically get better.

Talk to the woman you married. Obviously, you need to be cautious in the way you approach this subject. If you come out of the gate with your anger blazing, she's going to likely retreat into herself and she won't share with you what has caused her feelings to change so dramatically. The tone you set for the conversation is crucial. You must be compassionate and kind and explain that you understand that her feelings now may not mirror the feelings she had on your wedding day, but you want very much to gain insight into what's happened. Don't tell her at this point that you're intent on fixing things. She needs to first feel comfortable discussing what she is feeling.

Sometimes the discontent a woman feels in her marriage is actually more related to her life in general than her relationship with her husband. If you can encourage your wife to talk more about what is happening within her life that may help you piece together the puzzle of her changing feelings. Don't push her to share more than she's willing to at any given moment.

It's obviously incredibly important that you tell your wife how you feel as well. If you love her and feel deeply committed to making the marriage work, tell her. She may not know how you feel if you two aren't committed to spending time regularly sharing how you feel.

Becoming more emotionally connected with your wife, through discussion and even just spending more time together, can change the course of your marriage. There are times when one partner checks out of the relationship because they feel their spouse has given up. If you truly want the marriage to work, stay invested and show your wife that you are by being there for her and helping her in any way you can.

If you feel therapy would be beneficial, gently bring the subject up with your wife. Again, this is not something that you want to push her towards if she doesn't feel it would benefit her. You have to respect her needs and wants. By doing so you'll be showing her that you want to put her first which can help immensely when you're trying to rebuild a strained connection.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.

Original article

Why Does My Wife Not Love Me Anymore? Understanding Your Spouse

The men who visit my blog on dealing with marital issues often want to know what they can do when they feel their wives don't love them anymore. It's incredibly challenging to be in a marriage in which you feel the other person doesn't care about you. You feel devalued, depressed and you begin to question whether divorcing may be the best solution. The largest obstacle in a situation like this is the fact that you may still love your wife deeply even though it's become very obvious that her feelings have changed dramatically. Although separation and eventual divorce is certainly an option, it should never be viewed as the only one. There are definitely steps a man in your position can take to change the future of the marriage. Giving up doesn't have to be your next move, not if you're committed to your wife.

I want to help you understand a distinction that needs to be made when you feel that your wife doesn't love you anymore. There's a very large difference between a woman feeling neglected, ignored and undervalued and a woman who isn't in love anymore. Your wife may feel emotionally disconnected from you at this moment but that doesn't necessarily mean that she's fallen out of love. If she hasn't told you directly that she no longer loves you, don't jump to that conclusion. If you're basing this determination on the fact that she seems withdrawn, sullen or preoccupied with everything but you, there are other reasons for that. It may just be that your marriage has fallen into a gully of mutual emotional neglect and you now have to be the one to rescue it.

Take it as a very positive sign if your wife has yet to say that she wants to separate or divorce. When a woman truly does feel as though she's fallen out of love with her husband, she'll, at the very least, entertain the idea of ending the marriage. This is the case regardless of whether there are small children involved. It's typically very hard for any woman to stay in a relationship in which she doesn't feel a committed connection to her husband.

As for what you can do to change this, there are many effective routes you need to be taking. My first suggestion is to gently speak to your wife about where the marriage is now and where you both envision it being in a few months and even, in a few years. If she's reluctant to discuss this right now, don't push. If you are relentless with trying to get her to talk with you about what she's feeling, you'll risk her shutting down completely which will result in an even more strained day-to-day life around your home.

If your wife does indeed feel neglected by you, you'll see some strong clues in the things she does and says. Many women take the passive aggressive approach and talk frequently about a "friend" who has the ideal husband. If this is something your wife falls back to doing, assume that the "friend" in question doesn't have the perfect marriage and that your wife is only trying to give you some ideas of what you could be doing a better job of.

Take better care of your wife emotionally. Make time each day to really connect with her on a one-on-on basis. She needs to see that you're still willing to devote yourself to her and that she's not at the bottom of your life's priority list. Bring her flowers. Even though that seems cliché it's a wonderfully loving gesture. Take her out for dinner just because you love her. Don't wait for special occasions to pamper her. Make it a daily ritual and soon she'll start to feel that you truly do adore her. When she understands that, her attitude and feelings toward you will change for the positive. It's really just a matter of giving your marriage the care it deserves.

Although things may feel bleak at the moment, there is hope to save your marriage and change your wife's feelings. You love her so commit to improving the marriage and helping her find her fulfillment in your relationship again.

Original article

What If My Husband Can't Forgive Me Anymore?

I sometimes hear from wives who fully realize and admit that their failing marriage is mostly their fault. Many are fully aware that they have made grave mistakes and that their husband is justified in wanting to separate or end their marriage. But this doesn't mean that they want to give up.

I recently heard from a wife who said: "I've made so many mistakes in my marriage. I had an affair. I have lied to my husband.. I've got us into credit card debt. I've lost jobs and worked sporadically. I haven't been the best wife. Of course, now that my husband is fed up with me and wanting a divorce, I can see very clearly where I went wrong. I am very sincere in wanting to change. I'm very determined to be a good wife if he would just give me the chance. But when I tell him this, he says he just doesn't have it in him to forgive me anymore. He says I've just made too many mistakes and that he just doesn't trust or believe in me because I have damaged our marriage too much. In my heart, I know that I deserve this, but I also know that I would change and could absolutely make him happy if he would give me the chance. What should I do?"

I can't offer any guarantees. The decision in this situation was the husbands to make. However, I don't think that this situation is hopeless either. I have seen these types of scenarios turn around more than once. But I think there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it, which I will discuss below.

Make Your Number Priority Your Husband's Needs Instead Of Your Need For Him To Forgive You: I know that right about now, it feels as if your first priority is to somehow get your husband to forgive you one last time. But if you place your focus here, your husband is likely to think that, once again, you are making it all about you and you are asking for more than you yourself are willing to give. He may well think that it's too little too late, especially if, once again, your focus in on what he can do for you.

In my experience and observation, you will have more success if you make your husband the focus instead of yourself. What can you do him? What can you do to show him that you understand what he wants and needs? Consider backing off of the pressure that you are placing on him to forgive you and focus instead on just being there for him and just improving whatever relationship he will allow you to have with him. If he's focused on friendship or just being cordial, accept that for now. Be grateful for what he gives you and don't appear greedy or insensitive by asking for more. It should be clear that your focus and concern is him rather than yourself.

Proving Yourself As Someone Who Is Worthy Of More Forgiveness: You should also be aware that one additional challenge you face is your husband's suspicion that anything you do or say is only meant to get him to forgive you. So if you are promising your husband change, understand that he is likely to have his doubts.

One way to over come these doubts is to just show up and continue to do exactly what you have promised. Be unwavering in your dedication to show (rather than tell) him the ways in which you have changed. Don't give him empty promises and meaningless words. Really give him the opportunity to witness the improvements that you have made first hand. Keep going this until he sincerely believes you.

It's OK if this takes some time. Your husband is worth the effort. And, at the end of the day, you want him to not only forgive you, but what you really want is a healthy and happy marriage that lasts well beyond the issues that you are having today. So anything that you are doing is paving the way for your marriage tomorrow. Don't take the short, easy, and insincere road. Look at your long term goals and conduct yourself in a way that you can be proud of. Your husband will be more likely to believe in your sincerity if you continue to do this. As such, he will also be more likely to believe that you deserve forgiveness and will be comfortable in offering the same eventually.

I have to admit that there were times when I was selfish in my marriage and my husband responded accordingly with wanting a separation. At first, my focus was on getting him to forgive me. But this backfired. He was tired of me wanting him to do things for me. Once I placed the focus on him, things changed for the better. If it helps, you can read the entire story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

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