What Does It Mean When My Husband Left Me But Can't Say That He Doesn't Love Me?

I sometimes hear from women who are so confused because on the one hand, their husband is saying that he wants to leave or get a separation or divorce. But, on the other hand, he's still eluding to the fact that he still loves his wife. The wives aren't sure how to interpret these two opposing things. And quite often, the fact that the husband can't or won't say that he doesn't love them is a particularly confusing, and bitter, pill.

I heard from a wife who said: "last week, my husband sat me down and told me that he felt that our marriage wasn't good for either of us. He said that he felt that our relationship had become toxic so therefore he felt that it was in his best interest to leave me. I panicked and asked when he was coming back. He said that he didn't think that he was coming back. I told him that he was saying crazy things because I knew that he loved me. He didn't reply. So I told him that he could never say he didn't love me. And he agreed that he couldn't make that claim. So then why is he doing this? If he's not at the point that he no longer loves me, then what is the point of leaving me and potentially ending the relationship? What should I do now?" Obviously, there were a lot of questions and concerns and I'll try to take them one by one.

Men Often Leave Women They Love For Various Reasons: It's a common misconception that people who separate or get a divorce are doing so in part because one or both of them are no longer in love with the other. This is most definitely not always the case. Sometimes, both people love each other very much. But there are issues or problems that, at least at the time, seem bigger than that love. Or sometimes, the love doesn't seem to be enough to carry them through.

What He Says And Does Now Doesn't Necessarily Predict The Future: I know from my own experience that it is human nature to panic. After all, your worst fear seems to be a real possibility. I know from experience that it's very difficult to get control over these feelings when they come. But it's also my opinion and experience that panicking will often increase the odds that your fears will come true. Because that fear and panic is likely to drive you to act in ways that are unattractive. And, this destructive process will discourage your husband to change his mind while encouraging him to decide that he was right to begin to break away all along.

The truth is, you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Plenty of people decide that they want to leave or pursue a separation or even a divorce and they end up changing their mind later. They leave and find that they desperately miss their spouse. Or, with the luxury of time, they gain a new perspective which shows them that their problems weren't as insurmountable as they thought. Or, they realize that perhaps they are willing to compromise more than they though. Or maybe they see that the single life doesn't agree with them after all.

Know That If He Still Loves You, Then You Have A Definite Advantage: I know that the knowledge that he likely still loves you is making you very confused and frustrated right now. But try very hard to see it as the advantage in your situation. There are some wives right now who are coming to the end of their marriage because their husband is no longer in love with them and has no problem whatsoever telling them this very directly. But this wasn't the case here. It wasn't a mystery that the husband still loved his wife. This was an advantage that the wife should not only understand, but take full advantage of.

I know that it's easy to get discouraged in this situation and to focus on the fact that he's left. But that remaining love matters and that love is what gives you the chance to work this out. Always try to remember and concentrate on that. Because that is what might make all of the difference.

I felt very strongly that my husband still loved me even after he left and began a separation.  Family and friends told me that I was crazy to maintain hope for my marriage when all seemed lost.  But I'm the one having the last laugh now because not only is my marriage in tact, it's stronger than ever.  If it helps, you can read about how I saved my marriage on my blog at  http://isavedmymarriage.com/

Original article

My Wife Doesn't Love Me Anymore! Why There's Still Hope for Your Marriage

Whenever I receive an email through my blog that starts with, "my wife doesn't love me anymore," my heart sinks just a bit. It's so hard to hear how many men are struggling with this in their marriages. Like you, they love their wife, and are devastated when they either hear her say she's not in love anymore or they infer that based on her actions of late. The road ahead always seems cloudy and filled with confusion if you're unsure how your wife feels and what that means for the future of your marriage. Instead of viewing this revelation as the beginning of the end, it's wise to see it as the beginning of positive change. Most couples have many hurdles to clear as they work their way through married life, that's exactly what you need to view this as.

Falling out of love is something that happens to people whether they've been married a year, two years or twenty-five years. We all change as we mature and if you and your wife aren't in sync with the changes you both make, one or both of you may begin to feel an emotional disconnection. Over time, if a couple doesn't address these changing feelings several things can happen. One is that one partner will venture outside of the marriage and begin an intimate affair with someone else. Another outcome when a couple fails to stay close is resentment may begin to build and verbal abuse becomes par for the course. Sadly, some couples just quietly let their marriage die until they either divorce or live their lives under the same roof but very disconnected from each other.

The fact that you're aware that your wife doesn't love you anymore is actually a positive thing. I know that sounds confusing, but if you sense that she's fallen out of love or she's told you, you know that you have issues that have to be dealt with. You're facing them instead of burying them beneath a happy demeanor with the hope that things will magically get better.

Talk to the woman you married. Obviously, you need to be cautious in the way you approach this subject. If you come out of the gate with your anger blazing, she's going to likely retreat into herself and she won't share with you what has caused her feelings to change so dramatically. The tone you set for the conversation is crucial. You must be compassionate and kind and explain that you understand that her feelings now may not mirror the feelings she had on your wedding day, but you want very much to gain insight into what's happened. Don't tell her at this point that you're intent on fixing things. She needs to first feel comfortable discussing what she is feeling.

Sometimes the discontent a woman feels in her marriage is actually more related to her life in general than her relationship with her husband. If you can encourage your wife to talk more about what is happening within her life that may help you piece together the puzzle of her changing feelings. Don't push her to share more than she's willing to at any given moment.

It's obviously incredibly important that you tell your wife how you feel as well. If you love her and feel deeply committed to making the marriage work, tell her. She may not know how you feel if you two aren't committed to spending time regularly sharing how you feel.

Becoming more emotionally connected with your wife, through discussion and even just spending more time together, can change the course of your marriage. There are times when one partner checks out of the relationship because they feel their spouse has given up. If you truly want the marriage to work, stay invested and show your wife that you are by being there for her and helping her in any way you can.

If you feel therapy would be beneficial, gently bring the subject up with your wife. Again, this is not something that you want to push her towards if she doesn't feel it would benefit her. You have to respect her needs and wants. By doing so you'll be showing her that you want to put her first which can help immensely when you're trying to rebuild a strained connection.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.

Original article

Husband Doesn't Love You - How to Get the Romance Back

Is your marriage going through a rocky patch you are afraid that your husband doesn't love you anymore? How can you tell if your husband doesn't love you? Is it possible to get the romance back if your husband doesn't love you?

Over the course of a marriage, it is possible for couples to fall out of love with one another. This can be especially true if you are currently experiencing other issues within a marriage such as financial difficulties. If your husband doesn't love you, you may believe that your next step is to consult a divorce attorney. However, there are ways you can win the romance and your husband back at the same time.

Spend Time Together

When you spend time together, make sure that it is quality time in which you can really devote yourselves to one another. Spending time together can be difficult because you are probably being pulled in several different directions with work, school, kids and other commitments. However, if your husband doesn't love you, you will have to work at it and make time for each other. One way to do this is to go out on dates with one another. You can go to the movies or have a nice dinner in which you don't talk about money or the kids. You may even want to plan a romantic weekend away for just the two of you in order to have some time all to yourselves.

You Have the Power

While you can go out on dates with your husband in order to win back his love, you will also have to show that you love him on a daily basis. This means that you shouldn't criticize him or belittle him in any way. Instead, be loving and do little things for him around the house. In addition, when he does something for you, be sure to show your appreciation and thank him. Try to avoid seeing the negative in him and only concentrate on what is good and on why you fell in love with him in the first place.

Talk With Him

A great way to get the romance back is to just sit down and talk. Try to reconnect and see what is going on in each other's lives. Find out what is wrong in the relationship and work on solving those problems. While this might be a difficult conversation to have, you will feel better at the end and have a better idea of how to save your marriage.

Get Help

There is nothing wrong with seeing a marriage counselor if you feel as though your husband doesn't love you anymore. Seeing a counselor might be more likely to succeed if you go together, but you can go alone in order to determine what you need to do in order to bring the romance back into your relationship. Be sure to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with and one that specializes in the types of problems your marriage is facing.

To find out more about how to get male attention, click Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.

Janice Evans is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

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What to Do If Your Husband Doesn't Help at Home

Every woman has one in her life. As much as we wish it was a full-time maid, that's not it. We all have at least one friend who has the ideal husband. You know the type. He's the man who whips up a healthy breakfast for his wife each morning, does the dishes, works all day and then comes home to cook dinner, do the laundry, wash floors and take care of the children. You hear all about her perfectly, wonderful life while you're toiling over a hot stove with your children running circles around you complaining that they're bored or they need help with homework. How is it that the universe gave some women husbands who seem more than willing to tackle any household chore, yet some of us can't get our husbands to make a piece of toast if his life depended on it? It really has little to do with fate at all. Every husband has the potential to be helpful, attentive and supportive. It's up to us to learn how to draw those qualities out in him so he becomes a partner who not only wants to help at home, he's eager to do as much as he can.

If you're wondering what to do if your husband doesn't help at home there are a few ideas that you need to consider:

Talk to him about it. One major mistake that women make when they want something from their husbands is they wait for him to read their minds. Ladies, men just aren't that insightful when it comes to knowing what we want. You'll get far better results if you walk right up to your husband, and directly tell him what you need help with. Granted, you must not bark orders at him because he'll retreat into himself and nothing will get accomplished. Plan a quiet conversation with him where you'll detail all the things you wish he could help you with. Be kind and don't get too emotional. Men truly appreciate when a woman is able to communicate with them in a way that doesn't involve tears or too much emotion.

Give him more opportunity. Sometimes taking a detour to get to your destination is the best route to take. Such is the case when you're trying to get your husband to help you more at home. If you've already asked him to lend a hand and he hasn't yet stepped up to the plate you can give him a little push in the right direction. If you two have children, now may be the perfect time for you to escape for a weekend away with some of your girlfriends. If you can't afford a full weekend because of monetary or time constraints, make yourself busy at least one night a week. If your husband is forced into the role of full time caregiver and housekeeper for even a few hours one evening or a Saturday afternoon, he'll soon have a much better appreciation for everything you do. The bonus is that you get to have more time to yourself.

Leave some chores specifically for him. This suggestion is often the most challenging for reasons which will become very obvious momentarily. If your husband has chores that he's supposed to be responsible for yet you often pick up his slack, stop today. It doesn't matter if it's mowing the lawn or taking out the trash, if it's on his to-do list, it needs to be done by him. Obviously once the trash starts piling up, he'll have no choice but to attend to it. The same is true if he's told you he'll take care of his own laundry. Don't do it. Leave it for him to do when he decides he has time. Although this is certainly extreme and can become unpleasant, depending on what chores your husband has yet to do, it does get results.

Don't keep it to yourself if your husband doesn't help at home and you want him to. You need to change his behavior and attitude so you two reach a point where you no longer have to chase after him nagging him to help. He'll transform into one of those husbands other women dream of.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married women find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their husbands. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

To learn more about how to transform your marriage so your husband loves and adores you more than he ever has before, visit this helpful site.

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