Christian Marriage Help: Boundaries With Sex for Christian Wives

Are you looking for Christian marriage help regarding boundaries with sex in your relationship with your husband? If you believe you can't say no, are uncomfortable with your husband's sexual requests, find yourself disliking or avoiding sex, or are upset with your husband looking at pornography, then this article will give you the answers you are looking for. Here are four boundaries you can have with sex.

You can say no to your husband's sexual requests. While the Bible does say husbands and wives should not deprive each other of their bodies, except for prayer, women still can say no when sex is uncomfortable, demeaning, too frequent, or for other reasons. Women are not the sex slaves of their husbands. They can exercise their right to be loved by saying no when they really do not want sex and exercise their willingness to love by making a commitment to be their husbands' sexual partner. Both husband and wife need to be considerate of the other's needs but not discount their own.

You can enjoy a healthy sexual relationship with your husband. Some Christians look at sex as the duty of the wife without the expectation that she also enjoys sex. This belief is often stated by women who are struggling with their own sexuality or husband's mistreatment. Women can enjoy sex as much as men and should insist on a sexually fulfilling relationship by being honest with their husbands about what they want and need. Disliking sex with your husband can also be related to unresolved problems in the marriage that make sex uncomfortable. In this case, the pain is a sign that the issues need to be dealt with. Be honest with your husband about how you feel during sex and why. This has the potential of drawing needed attention to the problems while also increasing intimacy through open communication.

If your husband seeks sex outside the marriage, it is not your fault. Regardless of the frequency of sex in your relationship or the problems that exist, it is never right for a spouse to go outside the marriage. Some misguided people may suggest that it is your fault, but it is not. A woman does not have to carry the guilt of her husband's indiscretions nor does she have to fear that if she does not say yes to every request for sex that her husband has the right to look elsewhere for his needs. You can have a firm boundary and not accept the blame for your husband's choices.

You do not have to accept your husband looking at pornography. Most women are extremely bothered by pornography use and even feel betrayed. Many men do look at pornography, but not all men do. Sexual addiction is on the increase due to the availability of porn on the Internet. Sexual addiction is destructive to the man and the marriage. When a husband continues doing something that causes pain to his wife, he is not being loving and respectful. You can stand firm in your boundaries in asking your husband not to look at pornography.

This Christian marriage help will enable you to have healthy boundaries in your marriage regarding sex.

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Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.

Original article

Wives Submit to Your Husband - Are You Kidding Me?

I received a question the other day where a young wife asked me if she had to submit to her husband and she also asked "What do you do when both of you have strong personalities?" Good questions. First of all roles must be clearly defined. When roles are clearly defined it doesn't matter who has a strong personality or not. If you have two people that want their relationship to work each person is responsible for how they treat the other one.

In my case, I am very strong. I have to watch my tone, posture, etc. because as the wife in the relationship certain roles and behavioral expectations are clearly defined in the Bible.

One of the roles thrown around for thousands of years is that of being a submissive wife. Oh my God, how I struggled with that in the early years of our marriage. I just didn't feel my husband should tell me what to do. So we struggled. In the early years neither of us had a clear understanding of what true submission really meant. With two strong personalities and an unsubmissive wife, you have a recipe for disaster!

I remember hearing a message by Dr. Tony Evans in Dallas, Texas where he defined submission. I am sure his explanation was very eloquent and biblically sounding but what I remember most is the word "duck". He said submission means to duck. To get out of the way and let God get 'em. In other words, if your husband doesn't treat you right, just duck and God will get him. LOL! That simple explanation kept me sane for years.

As I began to mature and to seek a greater revelation and closer walk with both God and my husband, I learned that it simply means: To get with the mission. To get on one accord. To be like-minded if you will. In fact, although there is a lot of attention paid to the "wives submit" portion of the scripture, there is a scripture right above it Ephesians 5:21 that instructs both partners to mutually submit, so that means we BOTH have to get with the program. Ah,yes we serve a just God. :)

Both my husband and I work on mutual submission which means we both must strive to be one and to agree. I do understand however, that if a final decision has to made that the responsibility rests upon my husband which means I must on purpose submit and thank God most of the time I do. I haven't conquered this area totally but I am a whole lot better.

When I think about, I believe I struggled in this area because I have seen so many men abuse this privilege of having a submitted woman. I often saw it as unfair and weak. Now I understand that submission is really a privilege. It allows us to rest in the promises of God and to trust that He will take care of what concerns us as a wife. (and/or husband) In the case of mutual submission.

So do you have to submit? I say yes if you want peace in your home and yes if you want God to be pleased. Just understand what it really means to submit and take one day at a time. You may mess up sometimes, I do. (It's called human). But keep working on it. When you are determined to do right it seems that somehow, someway things always work out just fine.

Tracie Davis is the author of "Make It Last Forever- How to Get Married & Stay Married" where she offers practical advice to keep your marriage strong and thriving. She deals with all types of issues that newly weds and seasoned couples deal with everyday. Go to http://www.makeitlast4ever.info/ for more information and to get a copy of this incredible book and discover how you can make your marriage last forever.

Original article