Are you looking for Christian marriage help regarding boundaries with sex in your relationship with your husband? If you believe you can't say no, are uncomfortable with your husband's sexual requests, find yourself disliking or avoiding sex, or are upset with your husband looking at pornography, then this article will give you the answers you are looking for. Here are four boundaries you can have with sex.
You can say no to your husband's sexual requests. While the Bible does say husbands and wives should not deprive each other of their bodies, except for prayer, women still can say no when sex is uncomfortable, demeaning, too frequent, or for other reasons. Women are not the sex slaves of their husbands. They can exercise their right to be loved by saying no when they really do not want sex and exercise their willingness to love by making a commitment to be their husbands' sexual partner. Both husband and wife need to be considerate of the other's needs but not discount their own.
You can enjoy a healthy sexual relationship with your husband. Some Christians look at sex as the duty of the wife without the expectation that she also enjoys sex. This belief is often stated by women who are struggling with their own sexuality or husband's mistreatment. Women can enjoy sex as much as men and should insist on a sexually fulfilling relationship by being honest with their husbands about what they want and need. Disliking sex with your husband can also be related to unresolved problems in the marriage that make sex uncomfortable. In this case, the pain is a sign that the issues need to be dealt with. Be honest with your husband about how you feel during sex and why. This has the potential of drawing needed attention to the problems while also increasing intimacy through open communication.
If your husband seeks sex outside the marriage, it is not your fault. Regardless of the frequency of sex in your relationship or the problems that exist, it is never right for a spouse to go outside the marriage. Some misguided people may suggest that it is your fault, but it is not. A woman does not have to carry the guilt of her husband's indiscretions nor does she have to fear that if she does not say yes to every request for sex that her husband has the right to look elsewhere for his needs. You can have a firm boundary and not accept the blame for your husband's choices.
You do not have to accept your husband looking at pornography. Most women are extremely bothered by pornography use and even feel betrayed. Many men do look at pornography, but not all men do. Sexual addiction is on the increase due to the availability of porn on the Internet. Sexual addiction is destructive to the man and the marriage. When a husband continues doing something that causes pain to his wife, he is not being loving and respectful. You can stand firm in your boundaries in asking your husband not to look at pornography.
This Christian marriage help will enable you to have healthy boundaries in your marriage regarding sex.
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Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.