Qualities in Relationships

A behavior I've observed on the part of a number of men is going for women who have one set of qualities but expecting in a relationship an opposite set of qualities. Specifically, they are attracted to artistic free-spirited women, but want in a relationship a traditional wife. The result is that they chase down the women they find attractive and then spend the relationship beating them down in an attempt to force them to be what they want in a long-term relationship. And this can only be a recipe for disaster.

If the woman accepts the traditional wife role, then she loses what made her attractive to the man in the first place, and his feelings for her go away. Whereas if the woman, despite the abuse, remains in any way what she had been when the man had wooed her, then that is incompatible with his relationship expectations and draws further attack from the man. In either case, the results are disastrous, and this can only be a recipe for ongoing misery both for the woman and for the man.

The only way to solve this problem is to have enough understanding to realize what qualities lead to what outcomes. If one gets together with an artistic free-spirited woman, then one should expect the woman to act according to these qualities. To expect her to metaphorm into a traditional wife simply because she is with oneself is entirely unrealistic. If one wants someone who'd scrub his floors and cook his dinner, then he should go for women who are into that kind of thing and save both the next person and himself.

Now I have heard many men complain that Western women do not make good wife material. My response to that is that the Western man is not limited in his marital choices to Western women. There are 3 billion women in the world, and many of them have little to look forward to in their home countries except poverty and brutality. Many of them for that reason dream of marrying a Western man. If you are a Western man who has had it with feminism-influenced Western women: Get together with a woman from elsewhere in the world. Give someone a chance at a better life, and give yourself a chance at a better life with someone who would be grateful and treat you accordingly.

In either scenario, the solution comes from intelligence. It comes from understanding what qualities one finds attractive, what qualities one wants in a long-term relationship, and whether or not these qualities are compatible. Going for what one finds attractive while expecting the opposite in a relationship can only lead to misery on the part of everyone involved. Figure out what you want in a marriage and go for that. It's not as if Western men are at any kind of a disadvantage in having a choice of women from around the world.


Original article

No comments: