Marriage is not just two persons of different species coming together and in the process developing an instant bond between them. It is a process in which two personalities joining together to live in harmony of family life. It is a new beginning were both wife and husband shed some of their, if not all, routines and habits as a bachelor. It is also where in the couple accommodating their best to have peace in the married life. If this is so why there are so many people, men as well as women, search ways for 'how to save my marriage?
In most of those people who frantically search, the answer is elusive to them because they search elsewhere for a solution rather than looking at themselves for the root causes. Let us look into some of the ways to keep your married life in peace and harmony.
No Dominance Please: the era of male dominating the female was during the time of early man who lived in the caves. When nowadays woman is shouldering responsibility by working for financial support and at the same time look after the basic household chores, she has to be treated in a level field. And this will create a cordial atmosphere in the family life.
Do Not Compare: the moment a man or woman walking into your life, the life as a bachelor ENDS. You no longer have the same freedom like what you enjoyed in your bachelor life. There are new responsibilities in the family life. You cannot just take the key of your vehicle and rush out of the house when a friend is hosting a 'flash' party. Your outings and parties are now planned well so that both of you can make a presence.
Start Afresh: From the very moment of you taking hands of your spouse and enter the married life, the life of the past is just that, PAST. The affairs, lover and anything that may affect your marriage are a thing of past and take measure to ensure that they don't surface again. The best place to keep the love letters and memoirs of a failed love affair is between two burning logs. Start your life afresh from the day of your marriage.
Mutual Respect: Just because you are married it doesn't give you the right for satisfying your sexual appetite when you wish. No doubt, sex is an integral part of married life, but that is when it is gentle and with the mutual consent. By respecting other person's feelings in the matter of sex help a lot for harmony in married life.
Trust: Do not allow, at any point of time in your married life, doubt to creep into your mind about your spouse. The very moment when you allow that to happen, you will view everything with a suspicious mind which is not good between a husband and wife. Discuss things in open which will strengthen the mutual trust.
Fight Issues, not the Person behind it: When there is a situation when your view about an issue is different from your spouse (there will be a lot of them, believe me), discuss to sort out the same. Do not the fight it out comparing it with earlier occasions. Just discuss and arrive at a best possible solution of the situation, and do that on the same day. Do not go to sleep with an issue still to be solved.
A married life is not always full of flowers alone, time to time there may be a thorn surfacing to test your mutual trust. Your ability to take out them and go ahead with renewed trust is the answer for your search of 'how to save my marriage'.
Blake Johnson is a writer you spealizes in family counsuling. See more of his work at Save my marriage today review and also at How to save my marriage.