Romantic Wedding Songs For Your Wedding Day

There are many things couples have to do for their wedding and especially for their wedding reception. Given that the reception is usually a celebration of the fact that two people have decided to spend their lives together, it is only a reason for joy and happiness and there is no better way to celebrate but through a nice planned party.

Wedding receptions usually are accompanied by good foods and drinks and exquisite music. Therefore, the couple should take their time in choosing the right songs for the party. There are couples who turn to their parents or married relatives for help, but there are couples who know very well what type of music they are going to play at their wedding reception. The most romantic songs are usually used, as the married couple needs to spend some quality moments together and what better way of doing it if not through dancing. Still, even though the most romantic songs can be used, there might be a little problem with the elderly people at the wedding, who may not know most of the songs and who will not dance.

Given that the wedding reception needs to have a nice mood and atmosphere and given that the music is usually the one to set these two things, couples need to be really careful when they are choosing their wedding reception music. There are several forums where they can go, if they want to get inspired or they can even decide to hire a band, if they do not want a DJ, for instance. Regardless of who is going to play the music at your wedding party, make sure the music is right and it sets the right tone and mood, as there is nothing more important than the songs you play at the wedding. There are some classic love songs, hits overs the years which people still love to hear today. You could go for track such as "I Want to Spend My Lifetime Loving You," "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?," "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" or "Right Here Waiting for You."

There are many things which need to be settles for a wedding reception, but probably one of the most important things is the type of music it is going to be played. There are many couples who decide to hire a band for their wedding reception and they do it well. The thing is that even though bands are quire appropriate for such an event, they cost a lot of money and there are couples who cannot afford hiring a band. For those couples, there are many options. They can hire a DJ, for instance, to play the songs they have previously chosen. The thing with the wedding music is that it needs to be appropriate for the type of event. Therefore, most couples can decide upon choosing the most romantic songs in the world for their wedding reception. Although there are also many songs which are full of rhythm, most songs played during the entire wedding reception are usually very romantic. Choose from famous titles such as "No Me Ames," "My Heart Will Go On" and "Kiss From a Rose."

Give that the entire event is quite romantic in nature, it is only natural for couples to want to share beautiful moments on the dance floor, sharing a romantic dance on a song whose lyrics let the whole world know about the joy and happiness the moment brings to the couple. One thing the couple needs to be careful when choosing their wedding songs is that they need to be known. There are going to be some older people at the wedding, too and if they do not know the songs played, they will not dance and what use has a wedding reception if there is no one on the dance floor to bust a move.

Therefore, if you want to have a successful wedding party, make sure you add all sorts of songs, from all times, so as to be assured that everyone will dance.

Original article

How To Have A Great Marriage With A Jamaican Man

Many articles are written about how to get a 'JAMAICAN MAN', but it is also extremely important to know how to maintain the relationship and keep the man in your life. Many Jamaican men are afraid of taking the step towards marriage because they feel " THE WOMAN CHANGES ONCE SHE GETS THE RING ". Yes, sometimes women take things for granted and some women are very immature in their actions, however, most times poor communication and misunderstanding are the main culprits that lead to the road of separation. Below are some of the things women need to keep in mind to maintain a great marriage to a Jamaican man.

1) LISTEN- The first year in a marriage is " THE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER YEAR". It is the year you get to learn the most about your partner. Although you will continue to learn about him as the years go by, the first year is when you are most taken aback by his different moods and actions, re-actions and general personality. Jamaican men basically communicate more during the dating stage and the beginning of marriage. LISTEN WELL and ask questions if you are not sure. Women who do not listen well and/or do not pay much attention to what he says, you will miss out and suffer the consequences later. He will shut down after he feels you are not very sensitive to his needs or desires(not that he is selfish, but he thinks if you love him you will try to do the things he likes). Most Jamaican men are extremely family oriented and will not be quick to get a divorce, however he can totally shut down while remaining in the matrimonial home. The Jamaican man will tell you his likes and dislikes but he will not repeat himself constantly!! So remember ladies, our first line of duty is to LISTEN!! He will certainly not have the same discussion over and over!

2) COMMUNICATE- The next step to have a great marriage to a Jamaican man is to learn to communicate well. Our Jamaican men are not the most patient of men and will get frustrated very easily. You however can have him loving you even more and wanting to be around you more if he feels connected and free to be himself. It is very important for a woman not to attack her husband when he says something she does not like or approve of. It is extremely hard sometimes to control our emotions but it is very important to do so. Never sweep bad feelings under the carpet, just choose the appropriate time to talk. Most discussions can be had in the bedroom, just before bed (especially if kids are in the home). Try never to go to bed angry with each other. If the problem needs more time to solve it, make a date to do so, going out for a drink, dinner or even a walk, can be a very relaxing way to talk more and come to an understanding with disagreements. The main thing is to give each other time to talk while the other listens. Put yourself in the other partner's shoe and ask " how would I feel"? Getting respect from his woman is at the top of a Jamaican man's list. Never talk to a Jamaican man as if you are in charge, always be submissive, however have it all together. Know exactly what you want and stick to the point (Do not keep straying on things he did the months before).

3) BE A GREAT HOMEMAKER- A Jamaican man takes pride in his home. His home is his castle where he is the king and likes to have peace. Home is where he comes to re-charge, relax and be himself. He does not like to come home and have to face an argument or a disgruntled face. He enjoys coming home to a beautifully put together woman with welcoming arms who is happy to see him. Jamaican men enjoys coming home to a very clean house and also appreciate a delicious mea l. They like a wife who cooks well and entertains well. This practice is his idea of having an excellent homemaker and wife. He also likes it when his wife cares a great deal for his health

4) FIND OUT HIS SLEEP ROUTINE- One very important thing couples need to look out for "what time clock is your partner on ". This is not taken into consideration by many and has caused many separations. Some people are morning people, which means they are more alive, alert and vibrant in the mornings. The morning person gets up very early in the mornings and can sometimes be insensitive to the sleeping needs of the other person. They sometimes feel the need to discuss some very important things early in the morning, which would at that time not be processed properly by the other spouse who is trying to sleep or relax in bed. Sometimes the feeling of rejection can start to brew if one partner's conversation is taken lightly in this case, or if their sexual advance and desires are brushed aside. The same thing happens when one partner is a night person and the other is not, The night person might feel like he/she is being rejected, not getting enough attention and not being loved ultimately. Once this part of the relationship is sorted out and couples can compromise, a huge weight can be lifted off the shoulders of the marriage.

5) LOOK OUT FOR HIM- Jamaican men like it when their women "HAVE THEIR BACKS". Never discuss him in a negative way with your best friends or family members. Never crack jokes about him in a negative light or expose his downfalls to others. This lets him feel less of a man and not comfortable around you. If your partner is the type of person who likes the spotlight, say things to uplift him, when around others. Pay attention to his interests, hobbies and goals in life, be supportive at all times. Always let it be known to him and others that you are on his side. Always wait until you get home to let him know if you totally disagree with him on a particular matter.

6) LET HIM BE THE MAN- Jamaican men like to be in charge of the family. Their actions might not show it at times, but they have the need to constantly" WEAR THE PANTS". They are usually filled with pride and cares what people think of them regarding being the head of the house. Let him have equal input on major decisions regarding the house, the family and finance. Be affectionate and gentle to him, yet strong and assertive when the need arise. The Jamaican, man although he likes to be in charge loves a strong woman.

7) MAINTAIN YOUR APPEARANCE- Like every other man, the Jamaican man is very proud when his wife "FIXES UP HERSELF" (looks good all the time)After all, it was one of the reason he was first attracted to you! Even when finances are not up to scratch, groom your hair in an attractive fashion, take the time to wear some make up and wear clothes that fits well. Many women tend to eat more during stressful times and therefore put on weight, never go out and buy new clothes to fit into after a weight gain. Work out at the gym or take long walks to shed those extra pounds!! Always maintain good hygiene, wear his favourite perfumes and ALWAYS, ALWAYS wear great lingerie.

8) INTIMACY - The lock to a great marriage! Every thing else can close that door but if you really want a secure and firm relationship, the extra bolt on that door would be great intimacy with him. A Jamaican man enjoys extra attention and will get it from somewhere!! So make sure it comes from you!!Intimacy does not start in the bedroom!! always remember, you have to make him feel like the man, be the sexiest you can be, listen to him, communicate well, have his back, be a great homemaker and you will have his heart. Let him feel you submit to him, look in his eyes with great passion when you talk to him and remind him you are his baby(no matter how old you are). When a Jamaican man feels he can trust you and there is passion he will give himself, his heart and his soul to you. Sex is of utmost importance to the Jamaican man, however when it comes to his special woman he prefers the term" making love". Love making is the ultimate gift between a man and his wife, the Jamaican man has no reservation when it comes to that special time. When a Jamaican man is happy and content he can create heaven here on earth for you.

This article is written from my life experience of 28 years of marriage to one man. Life is the best teacher and when we can go back and show others what we could have avoided,that is a great gift.

Original article

The Gift of Marriage

Every day, all around the world, men and women commit to spending a life time together with exactly one person. They pledge to love, honor and cherish that person for the rest of their lives for better or for worse for as long as they both shall live. The actual wedding vows may vary, but the basic idea is the same. They commit to love only each other for life.

I think that the true benefit of marriage is something bigger than shared economic interests, combined skill sets or family planning. I think that when a man and woman come together and commit to serve each other in love, beautiful things can unfold in each of their lives. This is the true reason why God calls us to marriage. Marriage is a vehicle that helps us to enjoy the highest form of love that can be experienced in this world.

In order to understand this, you have to consider what each of the participants brings to the marriage. Men and women are NOT the same. They are equal in the eyes of God, but they are not the same. A Husband and a wife each has a unique gift that was given to them by God, and when they both commit to fully utilize their gift within the marriage, then magic happens. It is a kind of magic that neither of them can experience alone. They need each other to bring out the full effect of each other's gifts.

God gave men the gift of attention. A man has the ability to focus his attention on a particular task and commit himself to it until such time as it is completed. It is in the domain of attention that men are at their best. If he focuses his full attention on a job then that job is done with intense love and concentration. In marriage, God calls a man to focus the power of his attention on a person... his wife.

To women, God gave the gift of radiance. Women are much more in tune with their own feelings and with the integrity of the world around them. When a woman feels that there is a lack of love and integrity in her world, or her man, then hell hath no fury that can match her.

On the other hand, when a woman feels strong love and integrity in her world, and especially in her man, then she will be radiant in her love. She will shine like a star and fill the hearts and minds of all who are blessed by her presence with love and happiness.

Of course, a man can be purposeful all by himself. He does not need a woman to focus his attention on. He can focus it anywhere. The world is full of men who are successful and single.

Likewise, a woman can be radiant all by herself. She can shine light into the hearts of all who know her without any man in her life.

However, in the sanctity of a loving marriage, these two gifts combine in a very powerful way. When a man chooses to focus his attention on his wife in ways that are loving, appreciative, positive and uplifting, then he helps her to become even more radiant. She is filled by his loving devotion. It fills her from head to toe and explodes out of her as happiness that rains down on everyone in her life.

Have you noticed how a woman is in love seems to be walking on air all the time? She can light up a room with her presence. You can feel happiness radiating out of her in waves. You feel happy just to be around such a woman. A man has filled her with love and now she is sharing it with everyone who is lucky enough to be around her. Such is the power of a strong masculine love that is focused on a woman.

Nothing makes a man happier than to see his woman in this state. When he has filled her with love and he knows that his gifts have found their mark. The radiance of a woman inspires a man to want to give her love. The more radiant she is, the more he wants to give his gifts to her.

Therein lays the beauty of the system. A man focuses his loving attention on his wife and fills her with the gift of his love. Her heart lights up like a Christmas tree and she is radiant in her happiness. Much of that love radiates back to the man and inspires him to give even more, which makes her even more radiant, and inspires him to give even more...

I think you get the picture. God designed marriage to be a love making machine. When it is functioning properly it will create love in huge abundance. Together a man and woman can generate more love than either could experience alone.

Of course, there is a catch. It is not just a matter of getting together and BOOM the magic happens. The system only works if both of the participants are willing to play their God ordained role. If either person stops doing their part, then the love machine stops.

A woman stops the love machine if she stops actively inspiring her man to give his gifts in the world. She stops telling him that she loves and appreciates the things that he does. She stops telling him that she is proud of him. She stops trusting him and stops offering her physical and emotional beauty as a living inspiration for him. She stops accepting the gift of his love making with an open heart, and starts seeking her fullness elsewhere... all of her love goes to the children, shopping, Facebook, and text messages from friends to name just a few.

A man stops the love machine when he stops offering his gifts freely to his wife. He stops telling her that she is beautiful and that he loves her exactly as she is. He stops creating fun and exciting experiences for her. He stops leading her toward happiness and instead starts to put conditions on everything. He collapses back into his own needs and forgets about hers.

Instead of living his life as a gift to her and his family, he tries to negotiate a settlement with her where he gets to have time with friends, some nice toys and sex twice a week in exchange for giving her freedom that she also needs.

In the worst case their marriage separates into two lives lived under one roof. He is busy focusing his needs. She is busy focusing on her needs. Her light is shining dimly, and his attention is being directed anywhere but on her. Sooner or later one or both of them will decide that they cannot live this way and the marriage is in turmoil.

Or, perhaps one of them decides that they cannot live this way and decides to fix it.

How do you fix a marriage that has gotten off track? How do you get the love machine moving again? Usually, what it takes is for one or the other to decide to just go ahead and start living the way God intended them to again.

If it is the woman, then she makes a conscious decision to start shining her light into her husband's life again.

If it is the man, then he needs to focus his loving attention on his wife again. He needs to make a conscious effort to learn what his wife's needs are and to meet them for her.

So regardless of whether you are the man or the woman in a sexless and passionless marriage, make the decision to be the one that starts the healing process. Contemplate the gift that God gave you. Women, contemplate how you shine your light within your marriage. Are you inspiring your husband to love you? Men, contemplate how you focus your attention. Are you focusing your love on your wife often enough?

In both cases, I bet you will find that the answer is "No". I am not doing as much as I could. I am not keeping up my end of the deal. I am not doing my part to get the love machine rolling again. I am waiting for my spouse to do something. I am waiting for them to change first.

Stop waiting and start giving your unique gift again.

Original article

Do Social Networking Sites Cause Marital Problems?

Do you feel that he or she is spending excessive time on the Internet? Does he or she have the habit of making mysterious phone calls even at midnight or very early hours of the morning? Do social networking sites such as Facebook cause marriage problems?

Why Do People Sign Up On Social Networking Sites?

There are various reasons. Some are probably due to boredom, loneliness, and attention-seeking, trying to get over holiday blues or to play online games. Most people sign up to catch up with long lost-contact friends, old school buddies and to keep in touch with existing friends.

After Mr. Barack Obama had successfully harnessed the power of social networking to win the Presidential Election in 2008, a lot of politicians and political parties have started to maintain a Facebook account to keep in touch with their supporters. Some politicians even 'friend' their opponents in order to 'spy on' what they are talking to see if they have chances to pounce on their weaknesses. Of greater significance is the power of social networking as an effective medium to mobilize people to make changes as what had happened during the Arab Spring 2011.

Of course, there are also people (like me) who maintain accounts on social networking sites for purely business reasons to keep in touch with existing and potential customers, to update customers on latest products and services and to gather feedbacks or opinions on their products and services. The most noticeable success is Lady Gaga who is able to use Facebook's online games to promote her latest albums.

When Do Social Networking Sites Become A Problem?

Social networking sites start creating problems when people abuse them. It is either their ex-flames resurface and want to 'friend' them or out of curiosity search to find their old flames and hoping to reconnect them. Probably out of boredom with their relationships, some search on networking sites to find 'preys' for some short-term flings.

Can Social Networking Sites Hurt Marriages?

I would like to say yes or no. If the intent to 'friend' your old flames is pure innocent curiosity to see how their lives have evolved, you do not have any 'hidden agenda' to rekindle passion, you do not share intimate details with your correspondence and you are happily married, social networking sites should not do any harm to your marriage.

However, if the marriage is in trouble, social networking sites can act as a catalyst to worsen marriage problems. A bad marriage leaves a person vulnerable to seek happiness elsewhere. Social networking sites can and will sometimes strengthen the temptations and make people more available. Fantasies of old flames can reignite lost passion and a desire for emotional closeness.

It can be a very easy solution to ask your spouse to delete his/her account or ask to get access to his/her password. But this brings up a whole different underlying issue. If your spouse can be swayed from your marriage, this will be the case of with or without the Internet. The problem does not lie with social networking sites. It is the marriage itself that has serious underlying problems.

No one wants to be the victim of a spouse who cheats. But you cannot spend your life living in constant fear and distrust. This is not the way to live and will ultimately take a toll on you and your marriage. If you are in the situation when you have to constantly check on his/her Facebook and cell phone to see who he/she had been talking to, you really have to look at the marriage itself and dig up the sources of the problems and why you need to 'spy' on your spouse. Being overly suspicious and picking at his/her faults is often a precursor to things falling apart, and if the other person is not doing anything wrong it can be even more destructive. Instead try focusing on the positives in the marriage.

Regardless of whether or not you believe social networking sites such as Facebook are harmful to marriages, the most important question is how much you trust your partner. A healthy marriage is nearly impossible without mutual trust. Having said that it is therefore wise to spend more time and effort to communicate, connect and understand so as to establish a strong foundation of trust in your relationship rather than trying to control or monitor what your spouse does with his/her personal time, on or off the Internet.

For more readings on relationship matters, click on Save My Marriage

Original article

What Are The Little Things That Count In A Relationship?

Do you remember when you first met your spouse and you were madly in love with each other? When you were not together, you kept thinking of each other from sunrise to sunset and you can't wait to see each other. When you were together, you could not keep your hands off each other. Later on as you get more comfortable with each other, intimacy settles into a fixed pattern and it is unlikely to get better on its own. You will have to be open to new ideas and explore ways to strengthen the desire for one another as well as improving intimacy in the relationship.

What Makes A Healthy Relationship Works?

Basically, for every long-term relationship to flourish and be successful, you need to have three key elements which are intimacy, desire or passion and commitment. Not all relationships have these three key elements. Some relationships have only one or two of the key elements.

If a relationship is only pure passion or desire without any intimacy and commitment, it is best described as infatuated love or infatuation. If a relationship has both passion and intimacy but no commitment, it is only romantic love and many dating relationships fall into this category. If what is left in a relationship is only commitment, this will be empty love and many long-term couples fall into this category. A relationship consisting of only intimacy and commitment but lack of passion is more of a companion type of relationship. Though better than empty love but is still less than satisfactory and is a trap for long-term relationships. A relationship that has passion and commitment but no intimacy is best described as a passionate, whirlwind courtship that has quickly moved to marriage, with not enough time to build intimacy.

How To Strengthen Desire And Intimacy In A Relationship?

It is anticipation, rather than obligation and pressure that fuels desire. In any long-term relationship, it is necessary to anticipate sex in the same way as you would for other activities such as dinners, concerts and social gatherings. Though this may conflict with the idea about being spontaneous and romantic, however in reality, we are often so overwhelmed by the many responsibilities that sex is likely to be put at lower priority. You cannot count on spontaneity to make things happen. There is nothing wrong with planned, intentional sexual dates. To enhance the sexual experience in your 'dates', both of you can make special requests on how to turn on each other. This will establish a positive cycle of anticipation, satisfaction and regularity.

Another way of building anticipation is to put an idea into your partner's head about something that seems fun and exciting which is going to happen in the not too distant future. You keep referring back and touching upon this topic. It will serve to put your partner in a different mind state and feel excited even if nothing particularly exciting is happening at the time.

For example, you remind your wife about the romantic dinner you have planned to try a new cuisine on a particular night. As you keep reminding her, you will build up her anticipation and make her feel excited to see you when you return home. You tell your boyfriend about how you are going to make love to him like crazy tonight. You remind him by texting about it to keep him thinking about this. You can be sure he will be rushing home to see you tonight. Making things exciting by keeping your partner in a constant state of anticipation by way of planning intentional sexual dates or anything that seems fun, exciting or unusual will in turn enhance desire.

Intimacy (which is the feeling of closeness, sharing and connection) is another important component of sexual desire. Marital sex involves integrating intimacy and eroticism. Sexual desire is strong when both parties value emotional and sexual intimacy (or connection).

How Do You Increase Intimacy In A Relationship?

Here are some ways you can practice on.

(1) You need to learn about each other's emotional needs and not take each other for granted. You have to find out about what things that can allow your partner to feel loved and valued by you. You have to continue to do the little things and use the same sort of thoughtfulness and caring gestures you did when you were first courting. It is unlikely that both of you share the same emotional needs. Therefore, you avoid making the mistake of only showing love in the same way that you like to receive love.

You make intentional, regular and daily deposits into each other's emotional bank account in ways that your partner recognizes as loving, caring behavior. This may require having you to get out of your comfort zone. If your partner needs to be touched and you are not the touching type, it is time for you to learn a new language of love. This can be uncomfortable to you at first. But if you refuse to change your way, it will be sending her the message that you do not care enough to learn to love her in the way she wants to and you will only want to do things in your own way.

(2) You strengthen the connection with each other by tuning in to each other's feelings and needs, intentionally looking for ways to express caring, spending time with each other and having fun together.

(3) You express fondness by touching each other affectionately every day. Tender touch is a fundamental need for human beings. Touch is healing and is also a way of expressing love and acceptance. When someone touches you it is like they are acknowledging you.

(4) When you are upset or angry about something your spouse has done, you can try to be more understanding and forgiving of each other to prevent the barriers to communication from affecting intimacy.

Remember that you need desire, intimacy and commitment to keep a relationship strong. With good communication, you are able to understand each other's needs. Based on this knowledge of each other's needs, you make an effort to do the little things regularly to show you care. You use anticipation to drive passion or desire by setting aside time for passionate moments and by feeding fun and exciting ideas by setting aside time for passionate moments which you intend to make them happen. If you can do these, you will continue to have great sex, regardless of how long you have been in the relationship.

For a detailed road map on how to make passion and intimacy an important part of your relationship, you can click on Greatest Love and All For Us.

Original article

Making Indian Matrimonial Websites Work for You

The revolution that the internet has brought about in multiple industries has been emphasized on time and again. Like majority manufacturing and service based industries around the world, the Indian matrimonial sector also went through a major shift come the age of the internet.

More and more prospective Indian brides and grooms from around the world are logging onto Indian matrimonial websites and gaining access to a whole new world of match-making. The benefits of these portals have been discussed time and again. But how does one make the most of the amazing features that are offered to you at a click of a mouse so that you are sure you are able to easily find the perfect life partner of your dreams?

Let's consider this in a systematic manner:

Do Not Get Overwhelmed

Registering on a marriage portal can be very fruitful provided you know how to leverage all its features for your benefit. It may get a little overwhelming at first and you may not know where to start but if you approach this challenge with an open and creative mind, a marriage website can provide you with immediate results.

Picking the Right Website

Before you pick a match making website for yourself, make sure it is the correct one. Gauge the credibility of the website, the reliability and the type of people who are registering on the website. Do they look like people from the same background? If you are not confident about the quality and you still want to test the website, register for free but don't give away any personal information. Gauge the quality of the website before you venture deeper into the match making process with a website.

A Crisp Profile

Most people tend to mess up at this stage. If you are not good at written communications, make sure you take sufficient help from someone who does. Make a good profile of yourself that represents you real personality. Do no exaggerate and write exactly what you are and what you want. This makes it easier for others to get in touch with and the chances of finding someone closer to your ideas and beliefs become much higher.

Searching for the Right People

Another thing that you need to take care of is the kind of searches you feed into the system of an Indian matrimonial website. Putting in wrong search factors is going to give you wrong results. Before you start browsing profiles you need to personally figure out what you want out of your life partner. If you are overwhelmed with options talk to your parents and you will get a better idea on what to look for out of a life partner.

If you are able to make effective use the features offered on a marriage portal you will be surprised how quickly you will begin to get inquiries for your own profile. Be patient and smart when you register with a website. Make sure you are able to identify fraudulent profiles and don't soon you will be on your way to achieving marital bliss!

Humararishta dot com is an Indian Matrimonial Websites. Register for FREE and post matrimony profile in our revolutionary Online Matrimonial Website and find out perfect life partner for you.

Original article

Tips For When Your Husband Refuses To Change To Save Your Marriage

I sometimes hear from wives who have given their husbands an ultimatum to change his behavior or else accept that the marriage is over, and he's disappointed them by refusing to do so. Typically, he is either unwilling or unable to change, even if it means that his marriage is at risk because of this.

I heard from a wife who said: "I will not tolerate my husband's behavior anymore and I have told his as much. My husband has a drinking problem and because of this, he loses jobs, he isn't there for me, and he embarrasses our kids. I tolerated this for many years, but I will not do it anymore. Three months ago, I told my husband that he had to change to save our marriage. He told me that he would. He promised he would go to counseling or seek help from a professional. But he hasn't done that. There will be some weeks where he won't drink and I will get my hopes up, but he always reverts back to his old behaviors. I told him that if he really loved his family or wants to make our marriage work, then he will do whatever is necessary to change. He promises that he wants to change and begs me not to take his family from him, but then when it's time to go to counseling, he refuses to go. Yesterday, he told me that I knew who he was when I married him and that if I love him, I will accept all of him, even his flaws. I'm at the end of my rope. I do want to save my marriage, but I also want him to change and he refuses. What can I do?"

This is a very heart breaking situation because often, when you are dealing with addictions, the person really does want to change but, despite their best intentions, they struggle to do so because they don't have the tools to make the changes necessary on their own. Change is extremely difficult in any situation. However, when family is important, then it is possible. But it takes a lot of compromise, hard work, and determination. Sometimes, it helps to break the tasks down into much smaller steps. Hearing words like "you have to change or else" can be very overwhelming. I will offer some tips on how to make change more manageable in the following article.

You May Have More Success If You Break The Change Down Into Manageable Steps So That Your Husband Has Small, Constant Successes: The wife in the above scenario believed that her husband wanted to change. But he had never had long term success because alcoholism is an issue that is extremely difficult to overcome without a great deal of help. That's why when you are pushing for any significant change, you want to break it down into very manageable pieces that gives your husband a greater chance of success. Otherwise, he can feel like a failure before he ever really gains any momentum.

For example, the first goal might be to find a program or counselor. The next step would be to begin to regularly attend. The next step would be to go a week without drinking. And with each success, you want to praise your husband and make it very clear how much his willingness to change means to you.

Try To Show Him Praise Rather Than Disappointment: It's very easy to become frustrated when your husband fails yet again. It's very natural to want to guilt or force him into changing, especially when your children are negatively affected by his behavior. But many experts agree that positive reinforcement is much more effective than negative reinforcement. Major life changes take time. There are usually some steps backward before you achieve 100% success. If you reiterate how angry and disappointed you are in your husband every time he messes up, he may begin to wonder if he should even bother because he's always disappointing you or falling short.

But if you praise his small victories and try to have patience with the set backs, this is more likely to inspire your husband to keep moving forward because he wants to please you. It's important to understand that sometimes his lack of change doesn't have anything to do with the desire to change, it's sometimes that he doesn't have the tools or ability to change. I don't mean to imply that you shouldn't set high standards and expect change. You should. But you should make it easy for him to obtain some praise on a regular basis.

Get Him Professional Help If It's At All Possible: If you're asking your husband to make a major change in his life, try your best to get him the help that he needs to be successful. All of us want to believe that all he needs to do is make up his mind to change, but this often just isn't the case. Major behavioral modification takes time and expertise. I understand your wanting immediate, drastic and lasting change. But wanting it to happen and actually having it happen or two very different things. Sometimes, to have the best chance of success, you need to get outside help or at least educate yourself about the process.

Understand That His Changing And Saving Your Marriage Are Two Different Goals: Wives often truly believe that if their husband just changes, their marriage will magically be fixed. And while it's true that a sober husband would make saving this marriage much easier, often you will need to address more than just the initial problem. Often, the original problem leads to others. Sometimes, you'll need to rebuild the trust, erase the resentments, and learn new ways to communicate. But often, giving him an ultimatum is not the most effective way to go about this. In my opinion and experience, you will often have a better chance of success if you encourage him rather than threaten him. I don't say this to discourage you. Because you deserve for him to change. You are right to want him to change. But if the goal is to keep your family in tact, positive reinforcement is generally more effective in my opinion.

Honestly, my husband and I both needed to make some changes to save our marriage. The process wasn't easy, but we are so much happier now and our relationship is so much more healthy for both of us. It took small steps to get us where we are today. If it helps, you can read about that entire process at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

Original article

Worried Your Husband Will Begin To Move On During Your Trial Separation? These Tips Might Help

I often hear from wives who see a trial separation not as an opportunity, but as a risk. They worry that their husband is just using the separation as an opportunity to eventually get a divorce or to move on from their marriage.

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband has been pushing for a trial separation for months. And since he made this suggestion, things have deteriorated between us. I have directly asked him if he's using this separation as an excuse to start living as a single person. I've asked him if he intends to start seeing other women and to move on with his life. He says that at this point, he is not sure. He says there is a difference between being happily married and separated and that he plans to live his life as a separated man and then evaluate how that feels to him or if it makes him happy. To me, this means that he plans to move on as soon as possible. My husband says I shouldn't make these assumptions. But how can I not? What do I do with all of these fears that I have? It affects how I'm interacting with my husband."

Having been in this situation myself, I know that people will tell you that you shouldn't worry so much or that your anxiety is going to hurt your cause. But of course, this is easy for them to say. I know how this feels, and it's very difficult. On the one hand, you feel as if you can't afford to let him walk out the door. But on the other, you know that you must. But you do it with a heavy heart because you know that he may not ever come back. This leaves you with the option of trying to set it up so you have the best chance of him not moving on. I will discuss how to do this in the following article.

Don't Allow Your Anxiety To Make It More Likely That He Will Want To Move On. Don't Push Him Away: One thing you need to understand is that ultimately, if your husband feels in his heart that he wants to move on, he may act on this no matter what you say or do. While it's possible to delay him actually moving on, the truth is that if he really wants to, he eventually probably will. It can be very hard to ignore what your heart and your gut is telling you to do forever.

So the real key for you is to try to set it up so that his heart is NOT telling him to move on. And, when you're constantly saying things like: "are you using this separation as an excuse to move on?" Or, "you're going to move on, aren't you?" then you actually make these things more likely. I know that you feel very anxious and I understand why you do. But, be very conscious of not allowing your anxiety to fuel your responses and your behaviors. As difficult as it may be, if you act as if you are confident that he will remain committed to you during the trial separation, then you make it more likely that he actually will be.

When you feel your anxieties running away from you, remove yourself from the situation and do whatever it takes to calm down. Journal, do yoga, burn candles. Only you know what is most likely to help you cut back on your stress, but make sure that you are as calm as possible when you interact with your husband.

Understand That Your Interactions With Your Husband During The Separation Are Going To Influence Whether He Moves On Or Not: Here is another thing to remember. When you are separated, your husband is either going to think of you positively or negatively. The more negatively he thinks of you, the more likely it becomes that he is going to want to move on. So you need to do everything in your power to make sure that he thinks of you positively and wants to spend more time with you. Sometimes, this means backing off a little bit to allow him to miss you, to wonder about you, and to wish that things were different between you.

However, if you come on too strongly, constantly question your husband or make accusations that he's looking for excuses to move on, then he's less likely to miss you and he's more motivated to move on as a means to get further away from you to escape the drama. To that end, you want to make sure that you are easy to approach and interact with. You want to be friendly and open. I know that I'm asking a lot because sometimes, friendly and open is hard to pull off and when you're fearful and alone. But it's very important that make every attempt to show your husband that wonderful, playful woman that he fell in love with. Because, to a certain extent, he needs to fall in love with her again. Or at least he needs to be open to the idea that the love for her can return. Because once it does, he is much more less likely to want to move on because he knows that there is something, and someone, worthwhile to return home to.

I worried a lot about whether my husband would move on or not when we were separated. And, I think that there was a period of time when he was very close to doing so. Luckily, I stumbled onto a few things that worked to strengthen our relationship during the separation so that he didn't need or want to move on. If it helps, you can read about the strategies that worked on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

Original article

Create a Long Lasting Marriage and Avoid Divorce

All married couples want a relationship that would last a lifetime but not everybody knows how to create a lasting marriage. Keeping a marriage is not easy but it is something that can be achieved with commitment and the right understanding of what you are getting yourself into. Although there is no perfect marriage, couples are capable of creating a long-lasting marriage if they are willing to work on the following elements.

Honor the commitment. Many couples were able to survive the difficult times in their marriage because they were able to understand and honor their marriage commitment. Any marriage has its flaws and imperfections but the way couples handle those imperfections make a great difference. Couples should take their wedding vows seriously and the vows are not something that can be thrown out of the window in times of difficulties or trials. Trials are supposed to strengthen the marriage and not ruin it. Couples who accepted their vows as serious commitment are bound to create a long-lasting marriage and divorce is not an option.

Mutual respect. Marriage is a union of two people and they should become as one. Although couples are united as one, they are still two different people who may clash once in a while due to their different beliefs, opinions, etc. Your differences can put a strain in your marriage if you do not know how to respect each other. So to create a long-lasting marriage mutual respect is a must.

Willing to sacrifice for your spouse. One characteristic of true love is that you are willing to sacrifice and give way for your spouse. You do not have to be a martyr type of spouse but in a marriage there are situations that you have to give way to make your spouse happy. In a marriage, it is not about you anymore. To create a long-lasting marriage, you have to learn how to compromise or you have to know how to sacrifice for your spouse because this is something that people do for someone they really love. If you are willing to sacrifice for your spouse, the marriage will grow stronger.

Satisfying lovemaking. Couples are vulnerable to temptation if they are not sexually satisfied. Lack of intimacy can put your marriage in danger. One of the reasons of infidelity is sexual dissatisfaction. Couples connect emotionally and physically during lovemaking so both should reach the level of satisfaction to make the lovemaking something to look forward to. A healthy and satisfying sex life is important if you want to create a long- lasting marriage.

Share responsibilities. Couples often have their own jobs or careers and it is best to share responsibilities at home especially if you have kids and errands to accomplish. Keeping a marriage, a career and keeping things in order at home are too much for one person to handle. So to avoid stress in your marriage, share responsibilities. Help your spouse to keep things smooth at home. This is also another opportunity to do things together and strengthen your marriage.

It takes a lot of work and dedication to create a long-lasting marriage but it is not impossible for couples to spend the rest of their lives together.

If your marriage is going through difficult times, there are ways to save your marriage and avoid divorce. Visit Saving a Troubled Relationship

To know more about dating, love and relationships visit The Best Love Guide

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including Create a Long Lasting Marriage and Avoid Divorce. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

Original article

Getting Married Soon? Here's Why You Should Seriously Consider a Professional Wedding Snapper

A wedding is quite possibly the most important day in a person's life and for the majority of brides, it is an event that needs to happen perfectly. While planning your wedding there are a variety of details that need to be accounted for such as guest lists, the wedding dress, and of course affordable wedding photography. It is extremely necessary to find a dependable wedding photographer that can help you to remember your wedding night for years to come.

The Role of the Photographer

The role of the photographer is to snap photographs throughout the wedding day and the wedding night. They must have an extensive knowledge of portraits, family portraits, action shots, candid shots, and even to know about nature and architectural photography. All of these things are important because you will be posing in a vast amount of spaces on your wedding day. You will be looking for a photographer who can take still life images and transform them into brilliant pictures that you will remember for years to come.

Wedding Photo Quality

The wedding photos will show a whole other side of the wedding day that the couple wasn't able to acknowledge due to the hustle and bustle of their special day. They will be able to notice the different parts of the wedding such as the guests, all of the decorations and every other specific detail. There are a variety of things that make the quality of a wedding photograph worth the viewing, especially if your photographer is aware of how to tell a story with their work.

You will want to make sure that your photos are professional looking, otherwise there is no point to hiring the photographer. You will also want to make sure that the cameras used are of a professional grade or that the photographer at least has a photo editing software at their studio that they can use.

Another thing that is extremely important is that you must ensure that your entire day is documented. You will want pictures of your bridal party, the reception hall, and the ceremony. Otherwise there will be no reason to having pictures at all!

Affordable wedding photography is available to every couple who is looking to spend the rest of their lives together. As long as you meet with the photographer and assess their portfolio, you will be able to know whether you are obtaining a quality professional or not. In order to achieve the perfect wedding memories, it is recommended that you hire a wedding photographer because they not only eliminate that stress from your guests, they also make your wedding an event that is to be remembered for the rest of your life!

If You Are in Need of an Affordable And a Professional Wedding Photography Melbourne Service, then Please Visit http://www.weddingsnapper.com.au/ Today For The Most Competitive Wedding Photography Packages That Will Suit All Weddings. Simply Ask About Our Code "Zritoushani Pimt" Special

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She Wants Out of the Marriage! Why You Shouldn't Give Up on Your Wife Just Yet

Marriage is by far the most challenging partnership most of us will ever experience. That makes marriage sound like something negative, doesn't it? That's not my intention at all. Marriage can, and often is, a soul nourishing experience. It helps us discover the best in ourselves and the best in another person. It teaches us that great things can be accomplished if you work together. It also illustrates how deep and abiding love and devotion can truly be. However, most marriages have their fair share of low points. Those moments when you silently wonder why you married your spouse and you wish for a moment or two of peaceful solitude. That's natural and in most cases it passes very quickly. Sadly, sometimes a woman may decide that the serenity she seeks is beyond what her marriage can provide her. When a woman says she wants out of her marriage, the man left holding his wedding ring and his heart, has to take a step back emotionally before he does anything too drastic.

I'm a woman and I am quick to confess that I'm sometimes perhaps a bit overly dramatic. It happens to the best of us when our hormones are raging or our tempers are flaring. You must take the timing into consideration if your wife has made a declaration that she wants out of the marriage. Did she say it in the middle of a heated argument about your financial situation or was it in response to you saying in exasperation that you sometimes wonder why you married her? The context of when she said it is incredibly important. If it came out during a stressful moment, you have to consider that it was said in frustration. If it's something that she says in quiet times when everything between you two seems okay on the surface, that's another issue altogether.

You must get a firm grasp on the reasons why your wife says she wants to separate or divorce you. If she can't pinpoint what is causing her to feel so disconnected from you, it's vitally important that you help her come up with an answer. There is no possible way you can work towards repairing your marriage if you don't know what the issues you need to work past are. This can range from her feeling you neglect her needs to her falling out of love. Be honest with her when you tell her that saving the marriage is your main goal and that you're willing to push aside your feelings of anxiety or frustration over this to help her find her way back to the relationship.

We all cycle through positive and negative feelings within our lives. Our moods and outlook are often a direct reflection of what is going on with us at any given moment. If your wife is going through a period where she's unhappy with herself, or where her life has taken her, that will likely be reflected within your marriage. She may see the relationship as something that has stifled her goals as an individual. Perhaps she gave up pursuing a promising career so she could devote herself full time to being a doting mother to the children you two share. If that's the case, it's important that you encourage her to jump back into her own life while you help balance out the responsibilities of parenting and tending to the needs at home.

If you are determined to save the relationship, talk with your wife calmly about what you can do as a husband, and her life partner, to make the marriage more enriching and satisfying for her. Show her that you are there to support and help her over the difficult bumps in life's road. It took time to build your marriage to what it is today so don't give in to the idea of allowing all of that to slip away in an instant.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.

Original article

No Time for Yourselves?

Do you not have any time for yourselves? Even though you're married with children, it doesn't mean that you have to stop living. You have been married for it seems like a long-long-time, and you never take time for a date night out. Why not? Just because you have children doesn't mean that you have to stop living.

You need to go on a date with your significant other once and awhile. All work and no play isn't good. I know some people that say they work hard and then they play hard. Nothing is wrong with that as long as you remember to play and have fun too. I know some people that think they have to be working all the time and when that happens it can be a disaster for your marriage. One spouse might work long hours and then the other spouse feels alone and unwanted and that's not good. Both of you need to sit down and discuss a good time and day to go out on a date. When you pick someplace, make sure that both of you agree on it, otherwise, the other party might feel that the date is all one-sided and you don't want that. It should be a date where both of you can have a lot of fun. After all, that's why you're going to have fun and enjoy yourselves.

Take some time and meet your significant other for a quick lunch date, or just plan something to have a night out. Have someone that you know watch your children so you can take some time to get together. I always say a marriage is like a garden in that you have to keep it watered otherwise the beautiful flowers perish. So, is the same with your marriage. You've worked hard all these years to keep your marriage intact, but if you don't do some let's say for a better word "upkeep" then you run the risk of having problems with your marriage. Even if you don't have much money to do anything, you can still for example, go to a park to have a picnic and just enjoy each other. Just sitting in a park and enjoying the sunshine together means a lot. Or if you would rather, you could even take your children along. You just need to spend time more with your significant other and children. You can do something together that both of you enjoy.

Don't make up excuses and say that you don't have enough time. I know that you can make the time if you really want to. Another idea, is to just go together and watch a movie that you both want to watch.

Treat your marriage like a gem. You know, a marriage can be looked at like a fine diamond. And, when you have a fine diamond you can't put a price on it. That is because it's so precious.

Original article

Benefits of a Proxy Marriage

A proxy marriage is a marriage just like any other. All of the legal rights, benefits, and titles that accompany any marriage are a part of a double proxy marriage. However, for members of the armed forces there are benefits to marriage that go above and beyond what non-military personnel can expect. Remember, these benefits are not unique to a proxy marriage - they exist for any marriage. And because a proxy marriage is a marriage like any other, you are entitled to these benefits as well.

VA Home Loans: Spouses of enlisted military personnel are eligible for VA home loans. Once you've started your family, you may start thinking about purchasing a house. Having the backing of the U.S. Military when it comes to financing is always a plus.

Free Legal Assistance: The Judge Advocate General (or JAG) Corps. Made famous by a prime-time TV series, the JAG Corps. provide valuable service for armed forces personnel and their spouses.

Survivor Benefits: If your spouse is a member of the armed forces and dies, you, as a non-enlisted spouse, are allowed to stay in government housing for one year. You also have the option of moving to a private residence in which case you will receive one year of Basic Allowance for Housing.

Death Gratuity (Life Insurance): Up to $1,000 in coverage.

Dependency & Indemnity Compensation: Military spouses are eligible for flat-rate monthly payment which are intended to compensate them for cost of living increases that result from deployment to an area with a higher cost of living.

Educational Scholarships, Loans, and Grants: With the cost of college rising every year, these programs can provide enormous financial support to military families with children, or even those attending school themselves.

Montgomery GI Bill Test Program: An enlisted member of the armed forces is allowed to transfer half of his tuition assistance entitlement to his spouse.

Marriage Enrichment Retreats: Even at the best of times, marriage can be stressful and trying. For military personnel and their spouses, luxury resorts (operated by the military) exist for the benefit of military families. These offer affordable vacations at popular destinations for military members and their proxy marriage spouses.

Free Military Air Travel: In situations when space is available on military flights, spouses and children of enlisted personnel can travel at free or reduced prices.

The Exchange: This is a tax-free grocery store that generally sells items at discounts up to 30% or more.

Military Discounts: Businesses around the world offer discounts for members of the armed forces and their families.

But really, the largest benefit of all is being married to your lover. While these advantages may be nice, they will never outweigh being married to the right person. So if you are considering a proxy marriage, be sure to get married for the right reasons.

If you're interested in learning more about the benefits and possibility of proxy marriage, visit Proxy Marriage HQ. Thanks for taking the time to read this article, and if you have questions don't hesitate to ask.

Original article

Marrying the Navy

I'll be the first to admit, I am not your typical new Navy wife. I didn't grow up in a military town, I don't foresee myself adding miniature camo dressed replicas of my family to the back of my car, and the acronyms still confuse me. Don't get me wrong, I love my sailor and I am very proud of him. I just never would imagine that I would refer to myself as a military wife (or say the phrase I love my sailor for that matter...).

This crazy world that has become my life over the past three years still has its way of surprising me. I know that they say we cannot help who we fall in love with, but do not enter this life lightly. Be prepared to be hit with some baggage, and I am not talking about a Marc Jacobs sling. This baggage is a 560 ft, steel, SUBMARINE shadowing your life for the extent of his enlistment. Do not be fooled your husband or husband to be is not the only one on this sub. Sure he is the one stuck on it for three months but you are just as much a part of the boat as he. There will be lonely nights, moments of anger, and lots of separation. My suggestion, get a dog.

This life is not for the weak. Sure we all have our moments of weakness and breakdown. But we get through it each time we have to say goodbye before the sunrises telling ourselves they will be safe. We master putting on a happy face before we head into work so no one will see our pain. Be prepared to plan around duty days, last minute underways, and any other possible interruptions the command can come up with. This will never be easy, but building a strong network of people you love and trust can be priceless during these times.

Don't worry along with all of this madness does come some happy times. The free medical, tax free booze, and having rent paid for don't hurt either. I plan to take you through this new chapter of my life as a navy wife. I'll touch on some advice for planning your wedding, tips for cheap travel, and try to walk you through some of the confusing military protocol (as I figure it out).

I couldn't be more excited about embarking on this journey and hope you will follow my progress and I would love to hear your stories as well.

Learn more about becoming a new Navy wife and all of my tips and tricks for planning the perfect wedding, finding affordable honeymoon ideas, and maximizing military benefits at http://www.newnavywife.com/

Original article

Christian Marriage Help: What Constitutes Spiritual Abuse in Marriage?

Are you looking for Christian marriage help because you need to know what constitutes spiritual abuse? Abuse is about using power to control another person. Spiritual abuse is the misuse of spiritual authority as a means of power for a husband to control his wife.

Christians believe that Scripture teaches that the husband is to be the head of the home and that his wife is to submit to his leadership. This is balanced by the scriptural admonition for the husband to love his wife as his own body and as Christ loved the church. When these work together, a partnership is formed that is in the best interest of both people. Neither abuses nor mistreats the other and they work together to make the marriage work for both of them.

When spiritual abuse occurs, the husband uses his authority as the head of the house to demand obedience, prevent his wife from having an input into the decisions, discount her needs, expect servant-like obedience, disregard her feelings and act arrogantly like the "master of the house." There is a strong requirement that his wife submit and if she doesn't, there are repercussions. Submission is used as a way to silence her, prevent him from having to listen to her, and to get him his way. The husband demands all these things while ignoring the mandate to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25); yet, he uses the mandate for her to submit to control her.

Spiritual abuse is wrong because it mistreats a woman and requires her to submit to harsh and demeaning rather than loving leadership. First Peter 3:7 tells husbands to be considerate with their wives and to treat them with respect as co-heirs of salvation and if they don't, their prayers will be hindered. Colossians 3:19 tells husbands to love their wives and to not be harsh with them. Spiritual abuse is the opposite of these things; it is not respective, considerate, or loving and it is harsh.

If you are in a marriage where there is spiritual abuse, you need to be empowered to know that you do not have to submit to that type of leadership.

If you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.

Just click here: http://www.free15daychallenge.com/

Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.

Original article

Date Night Ideas For Married Couples

Being in love isn't supposed to be hard work, but that doesn't mean that a marriage doesn't require some effort in order to make sure it works. A big part of this is ensuring that you keep that "spark" alive, and one of the most common ways of doing this is to make sure you put aside time every week/month for a date night.

The question is, what do you do on a date with someone you're married to?

The answer is: make the other person feel special, and there are lots of ways to do this. Here are some of favourite ideas for making a date with your partner go well.

1) Book a night at the theatre, not the cinema. It doesn't have to be something high brow - there are plenty of fun contemporary comedies or musicals that you would both enjoy.

2) Find a sport you can play together, such as badminton, or joining a running club.

3) Rent a DVD, and hole up under a blanket together.

4) Stay in, but both of you make an effort. So the man must shave, find a shirt, wear shoes and turn off the TV, and the woman puts on some new lingerie and dresses up. Then cook yourselves a romantic "restaurant" dinner at home. Yes, with candles. Make the effort, is the key with this one.

5) Agree on a small sum of money, and each of you must turn up with a gift for the other one. The small sum will make you both think hard about what is most suitable for your partner. The idea is to show that you really "know" them.

6) Flowers, just because. So that means bringing her flowers for no reason, other than it being a Friday, or bringing him flowers, because nobody ever buys men flowers.

7) Every so often, get the grandparents to take the kids, book into a hotel (even if you live nearby) and enjoy yourselves. Someone else can cook, clean and wash up for one night.

8) Haven't got a whole night? Find a local spa that you can both go to, so you can sit in a whirlpool together and maybe get a bit pampered.

The most important thing with a married date night, is to make the effort. Do put on some nice lingerie. Do spruce up and put on perfume. The same is true for men - get a new pair of boxer shorts. Get that hair cut.

Make yourself look nice for each other, because you'll feel better looking in the mirror and the act of preparation will get in the mood for your romantic evening together.

One last hint - get any conversations about work, the house, the kids, etc out of the way before you both start to get ready, so that your evening can really be about romance, and not about whether the phone bill has been paid.

We all tend to put on a few pounds when we get married, but that doesn't mean that you can't still find great underwear. Bigsmalls specialises in plus size lingerie and has done since 2006. It's one of the UK's leading retailers of underwear in Sizes 18-36.

There are plenty of exciting lines of outsize underwear that can spice up married life, from corsets to stockings.

Original article

Marriage - "Who Is Your Best Friend?"

In our experience, the single thing that people want most from marriage is "a best friend." Not sex, not security, not children. Sure, we want all those but most of all we want a best friend -- a friend with whom we can share triumphs, tragedies, joys and sorrows. A friend with whom we can enjoy a sunset or a football game. A friend with whom we can talk, or not talk and either is OK. If that is what you want from your marriage, here are some suggestions.

Refuse to fall into the trap of the politeness paradox

Sometimes it seems as though we are more polite to the waiter or waitresses than we are to our spouse. We are more polite to the stranger on the airplane, than we are to our spouse. It seems somehow that the closer we are to someone, the less polite we are. Yet logically we should be more polite to those we treasure than to complete strangers. We call that the politeness paradox.

Suppose that some clothing being worn by another was (in your opinion), unflattering. Which of these three things would you say or do to: 1) a stranger, 2) a friend, 3) your partner.

a) That makes you look fat.

b) That outfit really isn't as flattering as some others.

c) (Nothing) just smile and talk about something else.

Suppose someone spilled coffee on you. Would your words and actions be the same if the person were your spouse, your best friend, a waitress, a preacher, a stranger?

How do you feel about your answers? Were you most polite to the stranger? If so, you are not alone. We seem to feel that closeness provides license to say anything, and that closeness gives us the responsibility to make our partner perfect. Not so!

Be as polite to your spouse as you are to strangers.

To have a friend, be a friend!

Maybe when you were a child, someone gave you this advice. It may sound simple, but many excellent ideas are. To improve your relationship, be the first one to do friendly things -- don't wait for your partner. If you are getting a glass of water, get one for your spouse. If you want to watch TV, watch the show that your spouse wants to watch. If you make a mistake, apologize. Of course those are examples, the rule is:

Treat your partner as you want to be treated -- that is, as a friend.

Eliminate the negative

Dr. John Gottman has done research that says that one negative comment to your partner can cancel out five positive comments or actions. Other research by Dr. Scott Stanley suggests that the ratio may be as high as twenty to one -- one negative comment undoes the good work of twenty positive comments. That tells us that by simply eliminating negative comments we can greatly improve a relationship.

A letter to Ann Landers told of a relationship that was dying and heading for divorce. Both partners constantly teased, were sarcastic and sniped at each other. The wife decided to eliminate all negative and critical comments. Biting her tongue in some cases, she was able to resurrect the marriage in a few months. This was a case where the wife was acting alone, her husband did not know that she was changing. As his wife stopped the negative comments, he gradually stopped his. In a few short months they were friends again.

A word of caution, don't take this article to your partner and say "See, you should quit making negative comments." Rather, take the initiative. Eliminate the negative and critical and sarcastic from your vocabulary. It won't be easy, but try it for several months. Then discuss it with your partner and try to enlist him or her in the program.

Don't make negative comments to your partner -- no matter how much you want to.

A friend is "one who has no immediate plans for your improvement."

Not exactly a dictionary definition, but think about it. If your friend doesn't do things exactly the way that you would, or the way you wish they would, do you try to change them? Do you give them daily advice? Do you give them orders? Most of us reserve those things for our partners.

Of course it is with the best of intentions that we seek to make our spouse perfect. But somehow our constructive criticism isn't taken the way that we meant it. Our advice doesn't seem to be accepted. Our orders are resented. But we know that. That's why we don't try to improve our friends. Somehow we forget when it is our partner.

Let your spouse be responsible for his or her improvement.

Have problem free times.

Being married brings on a whole new set of problems. The house, the children, the finances, sharing responsibilities, all present problems which pop up in various forms daily. These problems need to be discussed -- and in general we recommend discussing problems when they come up rather than letting them simmer.

But there should be times in a marriage that are "problem free" -- when neither of you will not bring up problems. Discuss this with your partner. You might decide that as a couple you will not bring up problems during the dinner hour. Or perhaps, not at bedtime. Or not on Mondays, or whatever you decide as a couple. There are few problems that can't wait a little while before you tackle them.

Set aside problem free times.

Plan fun times.

Before you married, you probably had dates -- specific times when you went out, dressed up, were on your best behavior, and did fun things together. Often in a committed relationship, we stop having dates. We seem to think dates are not necessary, or cost too much, or are too much trouble, or we're too tired,... Married couples need dates more than anyone. We need times just for fun.

Discuss this with your partner. Plan date times and don't let anything get in your way. Lots of things will come up to interfere with your dates. Money will be tight. Baby-sitters will be hard to find. Job commitments will come up.

Plan an occasional week end away -- even if it is only one weekend a year. Plan some "date" time weekly -- even if some of the dates are simply taking a walk. But treat those times like a date. Dress up. Be on your best behavior. Treat your partner like your lover.

Don't let anyone or anything prevent you from having dates with your partner -- the more frequent the better.

Work on it.

Want to change the politeness paradox? Write a note to yourself. Take five minutes a day to review your day and if you were impolite to your partner somewhere along the line, apologize! Write down your plan to treat your partner like a friend. No negative comments? Write it down. Have problem free times? Discuss it with your partner and agree to set aside the time. Want fun times? Again, discuss it with your partner, set up the times, and stick to it -- don't let anything interfere with your fun times.

Almost nothing worth having comes without work. Your relationship is worth the work. A partner that is your best friend can make your life a joy.

Good luck!

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Save The Marriage - Can You Do It With A Trial Separation?

Trial break ups have definitely been gaining popularity. It gives married couples time away from each other. It can definitely be employed to save a marriage when done properly. It helps the couple to think and decide what's the best for both of them. However, it shouldn't be used as a pre divorce set up.

Just what is a trial separation? This refers to a time of a couple of days, several weeks, or months that partners intentionally spend apart. It has its rewards because it might help couples re-evaluate where their connection is. Spending time on your own or leaving the married home can yank people into motion. If you are learning how to save my marriage, this may be something you have to undergo.

Before you go into a trial separation, you really need to sit down and invent some guidelines and rules about it. First of all, you will really need to chat about how long the separation will go for. Talk about the living and spending arrangements. This features who leave the home and how the funds are handled. You should also talk about whether or not you will be allowed to date other people. It is also important that you maintain frequent contact. This can be in the form of weekly phone calls or meetings that both sides must attend. Talk about your feelings about the separation during these meetings and calls.

A trial separation isn't for everyone. For this to actually work, you really need to be sure that both sides are clear on the rules. If your spouse refuses, you have to tell your partner that it is not acceptable. Stand your ground and tell them that the without the regulations, the marriage is over. Both parties will really need to consider the fact that notwithstanding the arrangements, you are still married. They really need to realize that this does not mean they are unattached, it is just a way to save my marriage.

A trial separation is an extremely crucial choice to come to. It is a recognition that your marriage may end; it brings to light how bad things are. This can help you by putting an end to the arguing. It can be a sobering event too. It can help you wish and tell to yourself that 'I want to save my marriage '. Keep the above guidelines in mind when you wish to know how to save a marriage.

Rascall Morrison is a freelance article writer and a blogger. He wrote articles about dating and marriage issues, tips and advice to have a healthy and long lasting relationship.

Resources:

You can visit http://www.savemymarriagetoday.com/ for more information about the topic.

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Why Does My Wife Not Love Me Anymore? Understanding Your Spouse

The men who visit my blog on dealing with marital issues often want to know what they can do when they feel their wives don't love them anymore. It's incredibly challenging to be in a marriage in which you feel the other person doesn't care about you. You feel devalued, depressed and you begin to question whether divorcing may be the best solution. The largest obstacle in a situation like this is the fact that you may still love your wife deeply even though it's become very obvious that her feelings have changed dramatically. Although separation and eventual divorce is certainly an option, it should never be viewed as the only one. There are definitely steps a man in your position can take to change the future of the marriage. Giving up doesn't have to be your next move, not if you're committed to your wife.

I want to help you understand a distinction that needs to be made when you feel that your wife doesn't love you anymore. There's a very large difference between a woman feeling neglected, ignored and undervalued and a woman who isn't in love anymore. Your wife may feel emotionally disconnected from you at this moment but that doesn't necessarily mean that she's fallen out of love. If she hasn't told you directly that she no longer loves you, don't jump to that conclusion. If you're basing this determination on the fact that she seems withdrawn, sullen or preoccupied with everything but you, there are other reasons for that. It may just be that your marriage has fallen into a gully of mutual emotional neglect and you now have to be the one to rescue it.

Take it as a very positive sign if your wife has yet to say that she wants to separate or divorce. When a woman truly does feel as though she's fallen out of love with her husband, she'll, at the very least, entertain the idea of ending the marriage. This is the case regardless of whether there are small children involved. It's typically very hard for any woman to stay in a relationship in which she doesn't feel a committed connection to her husband.

As for what you can do to change this, there are many effective routes you need to be taking. My first suggestion is to gently speak to your wife about where the marriage is now and where you both envision it being in a few months and even, in a few years. If she's reluctant to discuss this right now, don't push. If you are relentless with trying to get her to talk with you about what she's feeling, you'll risk her shutting down completely which will result in an even more strained day-to-day life around your home.

If your wife does indeed feel neglected by you, you'll see some strong clues in the things she does and says. Many women take the passive aggressive approach and talk frequently about a "friend" who has the ideal husband. If this is something your wife falls back to doing, assume that the "friend" in question doesn't have the perfect marriage and that your wife is only trying to give you some ideas of what you could be doing a better job of.

Take better care of your wife emotionally. Make time each day to really connect with her on a one-on-on basis. She needs to see that you're still willing to devote yourself to her and that she's not at the bottom of your life's priority list. Bring her flowers. Even though that seems cliché it's a wonderfully loving gesture. Take her out for dinner just because you love her. Don't wait for special occasions to pamper her. Make it a daily ritual and soon she'll start to feel that you truly do adore her. When she understands that, her attitude and feelings toward you will change for the positive. It's really just a matter of giving your marriage the care it deserves.

Although things may feel bleak at the moment, there is hope to save your marriage and change your wife's feelings. You love her so commit to improving the marriage and helping her find her fulfillment in your relationship again.

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