Do you have a feeling that your marriage may be headed for divorce? Sadly, more than half of all the marriages in the United States each year end this way. However, it doesn't have to happen to you. In most situations, some simple steps can save a marriage and stop a divorce dead in its tracks. The best way to do this, though, may seem unrealistic to you and even like it isn't going to work, but these basic techniques have passed the test of time and will definitely help your ailing relationship. All you have to do is change some of the tactics that come naturally, and you can really make a difference, even if your partner isn't working alongside you in the beginning.
Most people, when faced with the break-up of their marriage, want to try and reassure their spouse that if they stay married, things will change. To this end, people pledge to change everything about their natural personality, a promise which they can never hope to keep. If you've ever said, "I really have changed, and things are going to be better from now on", you're only showing your desperation. This method is never going to work. Think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Would you really believe your spouse if he or she were to use that line on you? You know you wouldn't, and neither will your mate. Save your words and show your partner by your actions how different things can be. Over the long term, that's the best assurance you can give.
If you're fighting to save your marriage, your heart will probably encourage you to repeatedly tell your spouse that you love them. Although it may well be true, and they may love you deeply, too, it can also be construed as an attempt on your part to emotionally blackmail them into staying married. This definitely isn't the time to express your emotions so blatantly to them. After all, they are already dealing with such feelings as a shredded ego, a sense of rejection and failure, and the desolate prospect of having to start their life over again. Wait until you both heal, and then you can be as liberal as you like with the loving words.
Another technique that's sure to continue running your marriage into the ground is trying to use logic to argue your spouse into feeling guilty. No one is going to respond favorably to an approach like this. Nothing is solved by hostility, so if you unfailingly exhibit a peaceful demeanor, you will also alleviate some of your spouse's anger and resentment. The main thing to remember in saving your marriage is that you need to keep your mouth shut even though you're tempted to jump into the fray.
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