If both partners in a relationship are committed to saving it. And you both recognize it is on the rocks, then there is a good chance that you will be able to repair things. And there are many people who will profess to be able to help you - for example, your average marriage counselor.
But what if one of you, say your spouse, really isn't that interested in saving things? What if they have all but given up, or worse, are actively trying to end your relationship.
Well, let me tell you. There is still hope that you can pull things together. And you in a lot of cases you can even do this without getting a marriage counselor involved, or getting into any heated arguments.
But first of all. Why are you so worried about your relationship ending? This isn't a trivial question. In fact, the answer to this might very well be the core of your problems.
Let me explain. In today's world, all to many of us have forgotten what it means to be a Man. We seek to impress and win over our women with talk, by being domesticated, by cooking dinner and being romantic. In essence, displaying highly feminine qualities.
When we lose touch with our Male-ness, we lose that magnetic quality that attracts quality women to us.
So my first question to you is. Are you truly happy with the quality of woman who you are currently in a (troubled) relationship with? If you're not then I would seriously suggest you let the relationship run its course and move on. You can do better.
On the other hand, if she is truly a quality woman, and you want to keep her in your life, then you must first focus on returning to your true nature as a man.
What is a man? It's not an image, or a body, or a job, or being an arrogant jerk. Being a true man is a personality. And it's a personality that attracts quality women like a magnet.
The techniques I'll share in a minute will still work (to an extent) if you do nothing to work on yourself. But if you'll first focus on re-awakening your male-ness, the results will be many times as powerful.
So what is this ideal male personality that women are drawn to?
It starts with your passion. A real man has dreams and desires (apart from women) which he works for above everything else. It might be a career, a business, anything worthwhile that you have devoted your life to.
In following his dreams, a true man wants to win more than anything else. He wants to bring his goals into reality, and realizes that unlike in school, there are true winners and losers in life. He wants to be a winner in whatever he does.
A true man doesn't make apologies for following his desires. He doesn't tiptoe through life.
And importantly, a true man loves women, but he is also perfectly comfortable being single as well, if the right woman hasn't come along yet. So if you're clinging to your relationship like it's your last lifeline. The first thing you must do is accept that you will be happy even if things don't work out.
If you are just skim reading, go back and read those last few paragraphs again. What I have just revealed to you are THE most attractive features that any quality woman looks for in a man. And here's the good news, real men are so rare these days, that once you become one you will stand out like a diamond in a bowl of M&Ms.
Ever heard the advice 'work on yourself first' but then wondered just what you're meant to be working on? Well there you have it in just a few paragraphs, how to be the man that women love.
Ok, but how to repair your relationship. Without the counselling and without the arguments?
Now that you understand the importance of improving yourself, I feel comfortable sharing the following almost foolproof strategy for relationship repair to you.
I did not invent this strategy, but it has worked wonders for me and for many other people over the years.
Here goes:
Number one. Agree with your wife or girlfriend. They want to separate? Then yes, you agree and completely understand. Do everything they want 100% their way (in respect to your relationship and breaking up). It may be hard for your ego to accept this strategy. But it is powerful. By not offering any resistance, they suddenly have nothing to fight against.
Number two. Enjoy your own freedom. Follow the suggestions above on 'being a man' (above).
And number three. Enjoy others. This one may be hard to swallow if you're terribly scared of losing your wife or partner. Which is why it's so important that you have to accept the fact that you may lose them (despite anything you do) if you want to stand any chance of keeping them in your life.
Becoming desperate and needy will simply drive them away faster.
The other reason for enjoying others, is to instil a little fear in them. Fear that they may lose you. When they see you having fun with other women, another powerful psychological factor will also come to your aid.
That is jealousy.
You see, in many relationships we become too 'familiar' and because we are somewhat conquered, and cease to be a challenge, we lose value in our partners eyes. Pull away (without being mean about it) and watch them come running back with renewed passion.
For more relationship help, check out the archives at The Relationship Guide.
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