Why did you cheat on your spouse? If either you or your spouse are asking this question, then the unthinkable has happened in your marriage. One partner has betrayed the other, and there is no longer any trust between you. If it was just a casual fling or a one-night-stand, was it really worth sacrificing your marriage for? What did your new partner have that your spouse didn't? Chances are that if you are the guilty party, you're asking yourself the same questions while watching the core of your life, your marriage, fall apart. If you were the wronged spouse, you will still be asking questions like this as well as wondering if it will ever be possible to repair the damage that has been done to your union.
There's no pat answer to this question, because the dynamics of each couple is unique to only them. Some are able to weather the storm and get on with their lives, while others either don't have the desire or energy it takes to try and fix what is broken. Is the cheating spouse truly sorry for his or her indiscretion, or will they make up only to break your heart again? If this is you, you may need to back off for awhile in order to give your spouse space to think things over. Even if your first impulse is to throw yourself at your spouse's feet and beg forgiveness, make yourself stop and give him or her a bit of time to heal. Initially, both of your emotions are too raw to think and act rationally.
If it was your mate who cheated on you, you need the space to consider:
* Has this happened before?
* Is your marriage worth fighting for?
* What will your spouse need to do to help you get past this incident?
* Why did this happen in the first place?
* Have you also been noticing that your marriage isn't what it once was?
Be truthful, because you have to know your own feelings before you'll be able to communicate them to your spouse. You have to be calm enough to talk things through before making any kind of final decision. You didn't deserve what happened to you, but there's no way to change it now. All you can do is go forward, either towards reconciliation or towards divorce. When the time to talk arrives, you may want to consider going to a marriage counselor together in order to keep the discussion on an equitable basis. In many instances you can rebuild a broken marriage as long as both parties make a true commitment to doing so.
Find out how to know when your marriage is over at: Free marriage advice or here: Save My Marriage.
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